The Real and Ideal

Mm hm

I still am thinking along the same lines I was last time I blogged. Which means: I'm not really thinking at all, just kind of going. But we all know how that goes...I hope I'm not the only one anyway....whatever.

So here's another poem:

Oppertunity presents itself
in hidden ways.
It's stealthy and quiet
as it tries to sneak past.
Seldom does it jump out at you,
calling your name

When one door closes
another door opens.
It's a long hallway
with doors lining the sides.
Blocked passages,
None to take.

I find that the best poems are actually written when you aren't trying. Which is why the one above is so lame. If you would like another example of this, check out the one I wrote at the rink today:

Shooting shooting
all day long.
I thought I could do it
but I was wrong.

Skating skating
Oh what fun
But I cannot
till the concussion is done.

See how totally thoughtless I am being lately? Well, it's not really thoughtless, per se, it's just the same thoughts over and over again, so they are getting a little old. I need a...break. No. I need to skate.

Good news: The doc said I could play again, as of Wednesday. Bad news: I want to play tomorrow. The final piece of news re: my head: I am playing tomorrow anyway.

So yesterday I attended Girl's Shopping Day, and it was pretty wierd. We shopped and stuff, and that's not really new to me, it's just everything else. The convos and the boys and all that jazz. Like, if I see a random guy I'm not gonna go up to him and be like, "You're hot. Take my number," but supposedly that's what regular people do. I'm like, "What?"

It's just another layer of innocence I didn't know I had. There is stuff out there that I have never even thought/heard of before, and I just have to accept that. I mean, I knew that I was fairly ignorant in the grand scheme of things, but these girls are my age. That's crazy stuff. You can never assume you know someone from what they're like at school, I guess....

Don't get me wrong, they are nice and everything, but it's just a bit of an eye opener some of the stuff real girly girls do. Wow. Someone should write a book on it. Just like someone should teach a course called "Male Psychology." It would be packed, I swear.

Speaking of, we are registering for next year soon...and as my high school career is winding down more and more every day, it is very important that I be careful picking classes. Or so my mom says. Like, I should take all the ones I want next year and not pace into senior year. Which made me wonder....because I don't really want to go off campus, just because I love my school 8>) But, there is always the chance that I might, in which case I need to take as many fun electives as I can before then. Right? Right.

I have just realized that I only have like, a week and a half until my membership expires, and my blog is done. So I have to make these last entries really good, so I'll leave with a bang before moving on to some other venue. Or I will just stick to paper, and my thoughts will be solely my own. I dunno if that sentance made sense. See, thats a plus side of keeping your journal private- no one cares if you use a word the wrong way or don't write complete sentances. It's kind of freeing, actually.

Today, it is hazy
The sun is not shining
Fog enters my mind
Sleepy and spent.
Time moves slowly
But the day wastes away
Can't think of anything
half way decent to say.
To him or to you
Nor to myself.

Inspiration comes occasionally
but it disappears just as quick.
You never know its there
Until it grips your heart.
A note from a song
Or a word in a book
It tells you what you
secretly need to know.
That something is coming,
waiting for you
Beyond what you see and hear and feel.
Bigger and better
than you ever expected
And you only have grab it
Extend your fingers the littlest bit.
It doesn't matter if it's
uncomfortable.
The best things don't ever come
easy.
If you never long for something enough
It won't be as good once you have it.
If you never cry a little bit
A smile will never have it's full value.
If you don't walk in the slush
The snow is never really soft and nice.
It's snowing out right now,
you see.

But you can hardly see it.
It blends in with the colorless sky.
Void of all feeling
It's just one of those days.

It's really cold out. Must be below zero, or something. I dunno, winter is the best place to be sometimes... just not lately. Awh man I really should have slept more last night. Whatever, that's how the story goes sometimes.

Aaaaaaarrrghhhhhh I should have practiced this morning. Sucked it up. I've been regreting it all day. And yet, I suppose there are worse things to regret. Sigh. Later.