Complex Numbers

Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

First in our Web of Wrong today, we have this heartworming story about a couple denied their child due to their religion - or, specifically and just as chilling, lack thereof:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,877155,00.html

Inestimable Privilege. In an extraordinary decision, Judge Camarata denied the Burkes' right to the child because of their lack of belief in a Supreme Being. Despite the Burkes' "high moral and ethical standards," he said, the New Jersey state constitution declares that "no person shall be deprived of the inestimable privilege of worshiping Almighty God in a manner agreeable to the dictates of his own conscience."

This is especially appalling to me because my own parents had to wait until they were 50 to have a child - because no agency would adopt out a child to non-Christian parents.

I hereby begin my list of Candidates for Douchenozzle of the Year with Judge Camarata.

But it might not matter, because clearly, the End is Nigh, and it might come with the U.S. Presidential Election:

http://www.physorg.com/news118756781.html

Former Arkansas governor Huckabee said in a debate in May that he did not believe in evolution.

A poll conducted last year showed that 53 percent of Americans do believe that humans developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life -- the theory of evolution -- while 47 percent do not.

Forty Fucking Seven Percent? That's it. We're doomed. 47% of Americans can't understand or accept the scientific reasoning that we developed out of a different form of life, despite the crushing weight of overwhelming evidence? Look, I don't care if you believe your Invisible Friend guided evolution; there was still evolution. I also don't care that the scientists can't agree on the precise mechanisms that drive evolution; that's called scientific debate and it goes on all the time. Come to think of it, I don't care what you believe, period - until it starts to affect public policy. 47%? No wonder judges are being douchenozzles about religion.

But, lest you think that the proof of Ragnarok's approach is purely religious, I give you People With More Time On Their Hands Than They Know What To Do With - so they post pictures of (admittedly interesting) automobile accidents:

http://www.quazen.com/News/Alternative/10-Freak-Car-Accidents-2.71373

And speaking of automobile accidents, I bet they go UP - at least among male drivers - when these become standard equipment. I give you: the Porn-Inspired Airbag (link's pretty safe):

http://boinkology.com/2008/01/04/first-ever-porn-inspired-automobile-airbag/

But in case you were wondering exactly what form the eschaton will take, well, there are at least five possibilities - depending upon one's religion. Here's Cracked's list of the "most kick-ass" ones:

http://www.cracked.com/article_14977_5-most-kick-ass-apocalyptic-prophecies.html...

My personal favorite is #3:

What to watch for:
The arrival of white men in the lands of the Hopi Indians, taking land that isn't theirs and killing their enemies with hand-held thunder.

Wait a minute.

Uh oh.

But, speaking of Hopi, all Hope is not lost, as long as we have people doing this:

http://www.snotr.com/video/789

I mean... that's just plane COOL.