Who Am I?

Warning Ranting Ahead

Dec 3, 2007

Before I start ranting I'm going to say "Hi there! How ya doing? Glad to see you!"  I'm also going to tell you that I miss you all.  Two more weeks to go and I will be on vacation from school for a month. I'm hoping to get lots of writing done..but I have to warn you that the apartment is most definitely in need of a good cleaning and my children (who get out a week after I  do and go back a week before I do..) need some good mom time.  Still, I imagine I'll be around much more.


Onto my rant. *grin*

In today's Indianapolis Star online there was an opinion article. You can find it here-
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007712030330

This is not the first time in the last week I've read a similar article in the Indpls Star...it's a hot topic right now.  But today, with Jamie home, and only the basics of schoolwork getting done, I did something I shouldn't have done-I read people's comments. 

First, for those of you who really didn't want to go read the article-it's on childhood poverty in Indiana-and discusses the fact that Indiana is the 11th worst state in the nation in regards to child poverty..and that one in 5 children lives below the poverty level. Now it also mentions unwed teen mothers, low education, etc...and while I don't disagree that those are definitely factors for some...it's not a factor for all.  In fact, in an article from last week's paper- which, if you are interested you can see-here- http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007711260385 states that not only does 1 in 5 children live in poverty but forty percent of children live in families that fall below 200% of the poverty level-that's $41,000 a year for a family of four-more than we make-which means we fall into that slot.

Now, understand. I'm not bothered by the article. As a matter of fact, it makes me feel a little better-after all we are certainly not alone in our struggle. However, as I said...I stopped to read comments from other readers...and the judgmental tone and the assinine suggestions made me boil.  You know, I"m aware that people exist who milk the system.  I'm aware that there ARE people who have children every few years (or at least attempt to time it that way) so they can stay on TANF or ADC or whatever.  I'm aware that there is truly a problem in this entire country of babies being born to babies...and that needs to stop. And yet...some of the "suggestions" went so far as to say the reason there is  a problem and people rely on the government so frequently is because there is no shame, no stigma to it. That parents who are on welfare and have another child should have their children removed from their homes and placed in foster care and be made to get a job. That's not going to require less funds from the government but MORE. And there are rules in place to prevent some of the abuse. Does it still happen...absolutely. But the majority of people-whether they be single parents or one with two parents-are getting government assistance in order to survive. In order to provide for their families.  Many are trying to make a better life.  And then there are those who fall through the cracks...those who fall at that 200% below poverty level..sorry a family of four who makes $41,000 DOES not qualify for much, if any government assistance.  I won't name how much we make..but it is substantially less than that...and my kids qualify for health care.and reduced lunch and free textbooks.  We also qualified this year for some winter heating assistance. That's it. I'd love to make a change to our families' finances..and we are slowly but I can't work right now..between school and Jamie's health-I never know if or when he's going to be sick..and while I hope we are through the worst of it and he's going to remain healthy...I don't know that yet...I'm trying to find a job in the evenings or nights....but it's not an easy thing to find...

Anyway, my point to this whole thing is that I should never read other people's comments from the paper-and I shouldn't go back and read their comments when I make one..cause now I"m even more ticked. Guess when you get down in the mud to roll with the pigs you are going to get dirty.

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  is my response that I wrote-the comment that I left.


Part of my response and the emotions that go with it are because we are struggling to survive, we are trying to make ends meet, we are trying but barely surviving.  I don't know how we are going to celebrate Mike's graduation or Jamie's birthday. I don't know how we are going to pay the bills and eat for the next two weeks.  I know we will manage, God always provides a way...I"m just a little down and frustrated because there are so many things I want to do to celebrate and can't. Make's you more aware of what is truly important though. I am blessed enough that we are getting some help for Christmas..it doesnt' make me happy that we have to rely on it but I am eternally grateful that we are getting it. God is good. I have seen first hand His power and love and know that truly, all things are possible through Him.  I know He has seen us through worse...it's rather scary at times though.

And yes, finances would be better if we dropped the internet..but then I couldn't take my courses online-and that would mean the gas to go back and forth to class, a sitter for my kids while I'm in class, etc.  We've weighed the options, trying to figure out how to best make it work. We are not trying to be frivilous.


Onto other things. 

Today would have been my parents wedding anniversary.  They would have been married for 42 years.  They've been gone for almost 6.  They divorced in 1992 so technically it doesn't really matter...but it matters to me.

Jamie's birthday is Dec 13.  He'll be 5.  We go next Monday to have some testing done. He's having some behavior and school issues....I won't go into it here..his privacy etc.

Mike graduates from college on Dec 15th.  I am so proud of him. He's worked so hard and I hope he is proud of himself too.


I know God is close and I know He's holding us and protecting us but I'm scared. I don't know how we are going to make it over the next month.  Anyone who has any info on ways to make money from home...legitimate ones please....email me ..I'd be very appreciative.

God bless you all...know that you are in my thoughts on prayers even when I'm not here much.