Don't Blink

Don't Blink

Don’t Blink

You might regret it. I write this in the form of buyer beware although it has nothing to do with purchasing hard goods. It has to do with protecting what you have worked hard for and deserve.

I am speaking of protecting your sanity as well as your dignity. I found out the hard way that no one can kick you any harder than you can kick your self. If you allow your self to be bullied into something ,and do not obtain a lawyer if your husband takes you out to dinner and surprises you with," we are getting a divorce".

I will spare you most of the sordid details, but let’s just say my husband came out to me nine years ago. We chose to not divorce for many reasons. We no longer lived as man and wife but as best friends. He move out of our home I guess three years ago. We remained friends. We did the usual things friends do. We went out to dinner, we went to yard sales, flea markets, and consoled each other when we were having bad days.

I was comfortable around his gay friends. I did not get involved in another relationship, but he did. I had always told him after he came out that if we needed to divorce for him to develop a good relationship with a partner, I said we would work it out. Well let me tell you saying and doing, is two very different things.

My husband had met a new male friend. I thought he was a nice guy, boy was I mistaken. The moved in together withing two months of meeting.

My husband called and asked if I would like to go out to dinner with he and his new boy friend, I said sure. But right in the middle of dinner he said we are getting a divorce. I almost choked. After I recovered I said we would talk about it. Little did I know he and the boyfriend had already been to a lawyer and had the papers drawn up. They said they would be ready to sign in two days. I asked about a lawyer and the boyfriend said his lawyer would take care of everything.

Well I was upset to say the least. They called me and said come over to sign. I went there oblivious to the whole thing. I know you are probably thing how stupid.Imagine how I feel now. I was crying, and asking about getting a lawyer for myself. The boy friend went into a fit of anger. He started threatening me with things in my past he had learned of from my father in-law. He stated the father in-law was going to the lawyer to be a witness against me to expose things in my past that would help my husbands cause. The boy friend kept bullying me and my husband allowed it. I signed because I was afraid of the things my father in law was threatening to bring up, and I had started taking xanax for my nerves, which probably played a large roll in my conception of the things I was signing.

I did work during the marriage, not all the time-- but still worked. When I was not working I was raising our four children. Got them through high school which is a job in itself. T took care of the home every one including the now x when they were sick.

At present I have a part time job now making approximately five to six hundred dollars a month. I would not have taken him to the cleaners if I had filed for divorce, but I would have sought what was fair.

To make a long story shorter, I did get the house that needs major repairs. A car with a blown engine.(The knew the engine was blown but they left out these details in the papers that went to the judge for signing. ). I lost my health insurance my husbands’ life insurance policy which I had always thought would at least offer me some security.

Now get this, I get a whopping six hundred dollars a month alimony -- and for a man who makes a hundred grand a year isn't that generous!



So my advice after all my ranting and raving is if you have to sell blood get a lawyer do it and let the chips fall where they may. You can always sweep them up later. But do not be Stupid like me.