Chaotic Meanderings

October 2007

October 9, 2007
Waking up, drenched in sweat, shaking from a dream I know I had, but can't remember. Eyes tired, from lack of sleep, but not closing to let me sleep more. Crawling out of bed, bones cracking as I stumble to the bathroom to splash cool water on my tired, flushed face. Slowing making my way to the kitchen to get a cold drink, while trying to get my thoughts settled, if not in order. Moving to the livingroom, reaching out to click on my computer and sign into WDC. I am here, my thought are elsewhere, flitting around, out of control.

Still not remembering what I dreamed, only feeling the feelings I felt on waking. Feelings of being called or chased, maybe both. Someone calling, as they chased me, but I don't know who. Maybe I didn't turn and look. Maybe I didn't hear. Maybe I knew who it was, and I was running from them, trying to block the call. I don't know.

How can you sort out the meaning of a unremembered dream or is it only the feelings the dream left you with, the part to sort out? Am I not hearing or seeing someone who needs me? Am I running away from someone or something I don't want to face? I don't know.

Still, my thoughts are jumbled, but a bit more in control, since I am able to write them down. My skin is no longer flushed from sweat, but my eyes are still tired from lack of sleep. Sleep, without dreams, so my body can rest and my mind can deal with confussing thoughts. Sleep.