Somewhere Else

Chapter 13: Lane

Brecker had dressed up not only because he had time to kill that morning but because he wanted to look nice for Lane. He was never very appreciative of his crazier outfits so he kept it as tame as he could. The Santa hat was his only real piece of flair and everyone was wearing one of those, so he figured he couldn’t complain.

Gifts were exchanged right away. Lane gave Brecker a laptop so that he could work away from home. Brecker gave him a gift certificate to a spa, figuring he could use a little rest and relaxation, especially after the rush of the holidays. He’d worked so hard to get the magazine up to where it should have been all along that he deserved a little vacation.

The entire day had been planned out. He wanted to treat Lane to some fun in bed and then snuggle while watching old Christmas movies. He got the first half without argument, but once they were through, Lane pretty much made it a day right there. Brecker understood that he wasn’t always the most affectionate of guys, but this he didn’t understand at all.

“Listen. Elena decided Job ought to visit for at least a while since it’s Christmas and all.”

He didn’t need to say anything else. No one outside of their small social ring knew they were together. Mainly because Lane had just come from a bitter divorce and wanted to lay low for a while. He could respect that. Lane wasn’t the sort that anyone would suspect of being gay, despite the magazine he worked for, and he wanted to keep it under wraps for as long as he possibly could.

The disappointment in his expression must have been vivid because he came back with, “Don’t worry Brecker. We’ll have New Year’s together. It’s just that Christmas is a family holiday.”

Even though Lane didn’t exactly say ‘and you’re not family’, that was precisely what he heard. Since he was never one to ruin a day though, especially because of his own feelings, he pushed back his own emotions and put on a smile, followed up with a light laugh. After all, it was great that he was spending time with his son.

They parted with Lane reassuring that he’d make it up to him but pushing him out the door all the same. He probably wouldn’t want to have to explain why there was a strange man coming out of his house as he was being dropped off. Christmas was a holiday for friends too though, and he hoped he could at least be called a friend if he was questioned.

As he made his way over to Oskar’s, he couldn’t help but note the most important people in his life all had people more important than him in their lives. Jane had Winter, Lane had Job, and Oskar had Madeline. He tried to write it off as being not a big deal, figuring that if he wanted to be more important in someone’s life he’d just have to earn it, but it still ate away at him as he pulled closer and closer to his house.

Maybe it would be best just to drop the gift off and not wait for an invitation inside. If he made it in, he’d surely be offered coffee and some sort of celebration for the season and Madeline, being sweet as she was, would ask about Lane. How could he tell her that he’d already been over to see him without letting disappointment rule his expression? He couldn’t. He didn’t want to have to answer for it either. Ringing the bell, he handed Oskar his present and assured him that he was well -- enjoying the day, but told him he had plenty of other stops to make before Jane got off from work. He didn’t question him.

Once he was home he went straight to his room. He was suddenly exhausted without explanation. Maybe the nightmares had finally taken their toll on him. Figuring he could lie down for a few minutes, power nap, and then be ready to pick up Jane, he stretched out on his bed, letting the cool pillowcase soothe him. As soon as his head touched that pillow he was out like a light.