Off the Cuff / My Other Journal

Etiquette Versus Individual Rights

Is social etiquette more important than one's individual rights? I asked myself this question after a comment to my Rat Meat entry.

In China, etiquette is, the commentor informed, you have to eat everything offered by the host. That should do it for some people and for the Olympic games that are going to be held in China. Not that I was planning to attend, but even if I were, I would have canceled the trip.

Yet, I shouldn't talk big, because this is not new to me. During a trip in Middle East, a few decades ago when Americans were not deemed as ugly, a host and hostess acted as if they were wronged by me, when I refused to eat more than my stomach could hold. "I cooked for you with my own two hands, and you are not eating. Maybe my cooking is not to your liking," the hostess said, acting slighted as if I murdered a member of her family.

This wasn't only with one household, but everywhere I went. Not only that, but people uttered the same refrain as if they were made to memorize it as soon as they learned to talk. Some even added a little more drama to it; others apologized for their ineptitude with the food. "I bought it only this morning. I swear it is fresh." "Did I make a mistake in cooking that dish?" "If you didn't like that dish, I have another one in the kitchen. We could order what you like, also." "You must have much better food in your country.So I understand you won't like ours..." etc,

Insistence by the hosts that you eat up, whether you like it or not or whether you can hold it or not, seems to be the accepted norm in quite a few places.

I believe, since everything is going global, a global etiquette's existence or at least its preamble is in order. If we had observed the global etiquette to start with, we would not have traipsed into other people's rights to eat, to dress, to believe, in short, to exist as they choose to; thus, in return, neither would they have into ours.

Something to think about!