Starting Over...

Progress Report

Well, things are moving along I guess. I've got the go ahead from a professor to take his Fall Calculus class (and to miss two of those classes for beach week ). I told him I needed to be out of town Sept. 16-22, but that I would be in the company of the engineer and physicist who had previously offered to tutor me. I also told him we expected, "to have a lot of down time". Selective honesty, LOVE it.

I've been studying daily for my GRE's and making flashcards for my vocabulary words. I'm only up to "i" and the stack is more than two inches thick.

I continue to have scary lapses in focus that really shake my confidence. I've asked my boss to give me another chance with experiments. In letter of notice to terminate she said she "hired me to do experiments and care for the animals, but the experiment part wasn't working out." She thought I wasn't producing fast enough and working too many hours to compensate. She decided to "play to my strengths" and have me focus on more tissue based work rather than behavioral experiments. That was the reason she took me off my original grant, set to end in Feb. 2009, and put me on one that ends June 2008. I told her I understand I am still on the short grant, but wanted to give it another go. She seemed amenable to it, but hasn't given me anything yet.

I feel really down about this and pretty scared. What if I'm doomed to keep repeating these same mistakes? What if I don't get into graduate school? What if I do?