Sunflower Powers Thru

Dropped the Class

I faced a real difficult decision, entirely too early in the day this morning. I've been looking forward to taking an HTML class at the local community college. Today was the second class, with six meetings scheduled. I walked out of class with my purse and books after about 30 minutes today. I wish I had more gumption, but I just couldn't stay. The instructor made me so uncomfortable that I wouldn't ask for her help, even though I needed it.

She's a weird kind of instructor, personality wise. She enjoys talking about what goes on in her personal life--too much in my opinion. It's mostly down time, chit chat. She did share with the class on the first meeting that she was going to be gone for the two scheduled classes for next week. Teaching section assignments don't come out till almost June, and she and her husband had scheduled a trip to Vegas. So the teacher needed to go play in Sin City, and wasn't available for the middle two classes.

First she tried to reschedule so that we'd have class double when she got back. Class meets from 9:00 - 12:20 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and she wanted to have the other class meetings on the same day only 5:00 - 8:30 pm. I can't learn stuff like a computer language at a pace like that. It just struck me as wrong: she plays and we get a screwed up learning schedule. Finally, two students said they couldn't come in the evening, so she threw up her hands and said she'd get a substitute.

Six class meetings, a sub for two meetings, and she didn't even have a sub instructor lined up the day before she was planning to leave. Just because I taught for 12 years doesn't make me smarter than a college instructor, but I know I had a better handle on my job than she does.

What caused me to walk out was the "learning environment". She talks about personal family trials and tribulations at a nice pace, but when she went to her power point presentation for us to take notes, nobody could keep up. She kept saying what she wasn't going to teach us...

"If you don't know that, and you're in an HTML class, don't expect me to have any patience with you." The tone of her voice was like daggers.

The first class meeting she picked on two guys sitting behind me who came in later. The spoke viciously. "If you want to check your e-mail, leave and go somewhere else. I expect you to pay full attention to me."

I was lat by about 10 minutes this morning. I'm approaching the school from a different direction since moving last year, plus the rain we've had has streets closed, and streets damaged with pot holes and such where you can't speed down the road. I did the best I could about arriving on time, but I was late.

When she saw I wasn't keeping up with participation, she came back to my desk and talked to me a class loudness. My computer had rebooted, and somehow the files I left on the desktop weren't there. She insisted that if I thought they just disappeared, that I didn't understand about computers. She was so f***ing smug, and hateful.

I told her I'd just watch until I could catch up. She said I was required to participate, and walked away. I didn't challenge her. I didn't talk back. I had reheased some lines in the mirror when I put on my makeup. I was expecting problems with her.

Anyone with human goodness and the teaching sense of a God fearing soul knows you don't get sarcastic, and you don't embarrass students. It kills the learning environment.

She told me I was wrong for using a 3.5 floppy instead of a flash drive. "It takes too long", she said. Well, I didn't get to a store on July 4th to get a flash drive, so I came with what I had. She turned up her nose at me and my floppy.

Another girl came in about 10 minutes after me. I knew she was gonna get it. Sure enough, "People who show up 30 minutes late won't be here to learn what they need to know." I felt bad for the fgirl in the second row, cuz she was gonna be teacher's target for 2 1/2 more hours. I needed help, but I sure as hell wasn't going to ask the teacher, knowing I'd be embarrassed.

I'm bipolar, and I debated about calling her "on the carpet" about her "learning environment", but I opted to just leave.

I walked over two buildings, in the rain, and dropped the class. I explained why I dropped, and left a copy with the computer continuing education chair, and the official drop office.

I had to cry a bit before it was all over with. I felt bad for giving up so easily. I was upset at being embarrassed. I was upset at myself for being late. I was very upset with the instructor (not professor) for all the worng things she subjected the class to.

I have the class text, and two other books. I can teach myself HTML, with more patience than I was exposed to in class. What a sad excuse for a $100 class. The "Board" has to meet and review my explanation to decide if I get an 80% or 100% refund.

I wanted to slip out the door quietly and quickly. I didn't do it. She had just shut the door, and I couldn't get it to open. Not missing a beat from her lecture, she said "The door opens in". I was trying to open it out. I just wanted to slip quietly into nothingness, but the class got a shot of me trying to high tail it out the door.

I feel bad I dropped the class, but then I feel like I did the right thing for me. I was so overwhelmed with the instructor's miscreant behavior, I probably wouldn't have learned as much as I will on my own.

It's the first time I ever walked out of class like that. At least I didn't cause a scene in class. I know I'm overly sensitive, but that's part of being bipolar. Having trouble controlling moods is another bipolar problem I have. But, I held back and didn't tell her off. Somebody needs to tell the instructor her teaching methods suck, but it wasn't my day to be elected. I only have to take care of myself. I'm doing the best I can. It's all I can do.