Each Day Already is a Challenge

Needin' those prayers

I didn't get the nicknames "Smiley" and "Ms. Merry Sunshine" for nuttin'. My disposition is usually pretty laid back and even keeled. Usually. But today I really lost it. I just hope losing it doesn't come back an bite me in the butt.

As I mentioned previously, I finally have my hearing before a judge about whether or not I can work a full time job or should be defined as disabled by the Social Security Administration. The hearing is Friday, July 6.

Today, I heard from my regular/treating doctor's office. Of course it wasn't the doc herself who called, but one of her staff. My son says I raised my voice at her, and since he was in the basement and I was on the first floor, if he heard me, I guess I did.

My doc is actually out of town. Her nurse called to tell me two things.

1) They would be sending my medical records to my attorney. Good.

2) My doc refuses to fill our the functional capacity form. The doc doesn't feel that she is qualified to fill out the form and suggested that I see a rheumatologist to get the form filled out.

Sigh. When I discovered that my attorney would be sending this form to my doctor, I left a message with her that I would gladly pay for an appointment to come and go over the form with her and answer any questions she had. The questions ask how much a person can move limbs and if/how much a person can lift, stand, sit, etc. Together we could have filled out the form. But no. She has refused to fill it out. Even if she would fill it out, though, she's out of the office all week.

You know what really bugs me? My doc is perfectly willing to bill $115 each time I visit her office. Next month I have a complete physical scheduled and if the price is the same as two years ago, it will be $153 plus tests. To me that's all a bit costly. Yes, our insurance company pays most of that. I paid only $65 for my regular doc in Texas, though, and only $55 if I saw his physician's assistant. Okay, I know that was 4 years ago now. But I doubt that his prices have increased that much in 4 years.

My attorney and I discussed whether or not I should see a rheumatologist at this late date when he and I visited last week. He decided that it would be better to have my treating doc fill out the form, since she has been seeing me consistently since February 2005 than to have a new rheumatologist see me just to fill out a form.

I did see a rheumatologist in Michigan in 2003. That's how I was officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia. But, I have not seen one since I arrived in Cincinnati. And the 2003 report is old and I don't even know if SSA and my attorney have copies of it.

This afternoon, I did some checking and of the rheumatologists who are close to my house and in our insurance plan, there are not any who could see me on Tuesday or Thursday of this week. (Wednesday, of course, is a holiday.) The one that my psychologist recommended to me doesn't have a "new patient appointment" until the end of August.

I finally called my chiropractor's office to inquire about whether or not she ever did functional capacity tests. She does. So my appointment with her is tomorrow at 3 p.m. She's cool, too, so she'll probably let me deliver a copy of the test to my attorney's office or will fax it to him tomorrow.

Hopefully I didn't aggravate my regular doctor's staff so much that they won't send my medical records this afternoon as they were going to when they called.

I guess I'm getting antsy about all of this. It has been five years since I first filed for disability and what I can and cannot do has decreased over that time.

Pray with me that I don't lose my cool in court. That would not be a good thing.