The Snowflake Chronicles

While the coast is clear

It’s nice to know that any logical driver would put a nose booger under the seat. I wonder what the next logical person, after buying a used car is going to think, when he or she reaches under the driver’s seat to put a booger there and finds the spot already occupied with a total stranger booger. OK, so I’ve never encounter placing a booger in a place occupied by a stranger’s booger. However, I’ve always speculated about what a stranger would think.

As for shaving my neither regions, well the only part of my body I ever shaved was my armpits. When I did shave my pits I didn’t use an electric razor, I use a refillable blade razor. I only shaved my armpits up to the point when I realized that the guys who cared that my armpits weren’t hairy, we shallow and normally wanted me to put all the effort in the relationship.

There is one thing I have to admit too. I’d went to a 99¢ only store and when I was leaving I found one whole potato on the ground in the parking lot. There was no one around to see, so I picked up the potato and took it to my car. We microwaved it the next day. As to whether or not I’d eat a box of Thin Mint Cookies … probably, but I’m not sure. If there were Thin Mint Cookies under my seat I could be sure of one thing, I didn’t leave them there by mistake. Therefore, I wouldn’t be cleaning out my own car or someone else put them there. Either way, I’m not sure I’d want to east a strangers Thin Mint Cookies, people get belligerent when you eat their Thin Mint Cookies without permission even if those cookies are in your car.

As for touch myself discreetly when some hot hunk is getting it on with some hot chick. Well, the last R or was it an X rated movie I saw was Midnight Cowboy, I didn’t like, I thought it had not plot and even worse it didn’t pretend to have a plot. I avoid X rated movies completely, as for R rated ones while I don’t necessarily avoid them completely they have to have something more going for them then just sex and or violence.

Sex toys … looking for someone’s sex toys in their bedroom … this is a new one on me. No, I wouldn’t look for them, not that interested in anybody else’s fantasies.

I haven’t gone commode diving for family heirlooms, but I have dropped change in a public toilet and retrieved it. I’m sure no one was looking, unless they had x-ray vision or x-ray glasses and could see through the door. Speaking of x-ray vision, why didn’t Superman use his to see through both Lana’s and Lois’ clothing to get an eye full? That’s something I’ve always wonder about, if nothing else it proves he wasn’t a typical human male.

What would I do if no one else were watching? Besides commode diving for change and picking up potatoes in a parking lot, there must be something else I would do. I’ve been known to pick up aluminum cans off the street or out of parking lots, but that doesn’t count since it doesn’t matter to me whether someone is watching or not. If some is watching and within listening distance, I just smile and say “Gas money!” If their not within listening distance then I smile and wave. I’ve also sit in my care and read prayer with my lips moving. Someone caught me doing that once and gave me a thumbs up.

I suspect most people don’t care whether or not one brakes conventional social standards either in public or privet; not that they will admit it. I’m not saying they won’t gossip about it, some people apparently have no life and need a hobby to amuse themselves.

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