Once is all it takes. Chapter One

Once is All Takes. Chapter Three

  "Man, I am such a pig when I get my period," Said Hayley through a mouthful of chocolate.

It had been about a month and a half since, "it" had happened. That's how Gina decided to refer to what her and Christopher had done. Hayley was the only one who knew, and hopefully the only one to ever know. Gina had not spoken, let alone looked at Christopher since "it" had happened. She felt like she lost her childhood, it was sad, but having Hayley helped.

"Gina, don't you get cravings when you have yours?" Asked Hayley.

Gina didn't answer. She continued to stare at the carpet.

"Isn't it your time soon?" She questioned.

When Hayley first said this Gina didn't take it in too deeply. Let's think, Gina had it last about...Crap. Oh no, could it be? Has it really been seven weeks? Oh Gosh. She felt like puking.

"Gina, are you ok? You don't look too good," Hayley stopped eating and focused on Gina.

"Hayley we need to go to the drug store now." Gina said.

Gina was more scared then she had ever been before. This could not happen. Her life would be over. Maybe she was worrying too much. She had to make sure.

" Hayley, I think.....I think I might be pregnant," Gina felt like crying when Hayley, without thinking, hugged her so tightly.

"I'll walk with you, hon. I'm not leaving." Was Hayley's response.

  They walked together to the store and made there way right to the "parenting" section in Walgreens. Gina felt like she was out of her body right now, like she was looking in on someone elses life from far away. It was so foreign to her, all of this. What if someone saw her?  How humiliating would that be? It had to be done, and right now. She grabbed the first test she saw and tucked it under her arm. She paid so fast she could have sworn she saw dust fly behind her when she practically ran out of the store.

    On the way back home, the girls walked in silence. Until Hayley asked that one question that Gina feared the most.

"So, what if you, um, what if you are..." She didn't have to finish.

  Gina knew what she meant. What if she was pregnant? How could she tell her parents? What would people say and think? What about school? What about Christopher? No, she told herself. She was definitly not pregnant.
  The girls ran right into the house and straight upstairs. Hayley waited outside the door as Gina took her test. The one test she wished with all her heart she would fail.

"Wait for five minutes and see the results, that's what it says Gina. So now we wait?" Asked Hayley.

"Yeah, now we wait." Gina sat down and stared at the test as she said this.

The five minute timer Gina had set went off. As if in slow motion she walked to the table and picked up the little plastic rod. She read the word, right there before her. Plain as day, clear as crystal. "Pregnant".


                                              ***


  The talk she had with her parents was the most uncomfortable time of her life. So many things were dicussed, yet nothing was really decided. Gina had always thought of abortion as wrong. I mean, how can a woman murder her own unborn child? Yet she had never thought of it from her own perspective. It would be easy. The fast and sleezy way out. Just go the the clinic and presto, no more baby. But terminate her baby? Her baby. How weird that sounded. How can she resolve this? Gina was not strong enough to go through labor. Deliver a baby? She was definitely not ready for that. Her brain ached. Too much to think about.
    Her parents decided that Gina should stay in school as long as possible. Gina was forbidden to tell anyone, but why would she want too?  Christopher would find out soon enough. If her parents didn't tell him then she would have too. Gina would wear loose clothes as she got bigger and get out of Phys.Ed. So much for the Special K lose six pounds idea, that was just shot to the ground. Hayley was the only thing that kept Gina sane these days. The Masiellos were so reserved around Gina now and somber too. Choosing words carefully or just not speaking at all. Gina had some thinking to do. She had nine months, but would she keep them?
  To match the uncontrollable depression Gina was feeling, she soon felt madder than ever before. Christopher. She had to tell him now or she never would. Her plan of action was to walk right up to him and just say it, so she did just that.

" Christopher I'm pregnant," She said it as monotone and to the point as she could.

He had to know, I mean he was the father. She was so curious as to his response.

His features seemed frozen, but only for a second and said, " Are you sure its mine?"

He looked as if he had been hit by a car and then, just got up and walked away as the car burned behind him. This answer shocked Gina, and made her so mad.

"Yes! Of corse its yours! You were my first, you pushed me and now, now you have a baby." She ended that statement by yelling at him.

As people walked by them in the hallway, they started to stare, yet Gina could care less.

"Hey, you did what you wanted to girl," Girl? That is what they had come too. He didn't even respect her enough to use her name.

"But you pushed it," She knew it and so did he.

"You could have said no," Yes. That is where she was totally at fault.

"I can't believe this," Gina said breathlessly.

"I want nothing to do with this, at all." He crossed his arms like he was slamming a door in her face. Ouch. That hurt her.

"Neither do I, but you're not the one carrying a baby"

"Abort it then, for all I care!"

  Stop. Abort? Kill her baby? Kill their baby? That is what he wanted her to do. Is that what she wanted her to do? She slapped him across the face. He had gone too far. She was so disgusted with him, and with herself for being with him. She couldn't talk to him anymore, so she turned and walked away and left him there to wallow in his own terrible words.
    She wasn't walking to any place in particular, so she just wandered. Wandered and thought. "I don't need him" is what she came up with. Then another thought came into her head. "I don't need anyone". Right then and there Gina decided not to burden anyone with her mistakes anymore. She didn't need her parents or school counselors. She didn't need help. She didn't even need God, is what she thought. How can He forgive me after what I did? I am too terrible to be let back into His love. After silently deciding to eliminate her problems from everyone else, Gina went home. She went home alone, went upstairs alone and fell asleep alone.
  Laying there, she figured she had better get used to being alone after the decision she had made. In her quiet bed, something clicked on in Gina's head, it was physically impossible for her to be alone. She had a baby. This thought was oddly comforting to her. In the darkness of her room, Gina whispered to her little belly,

" Its you and me against the world, baby. It'll be hard, but we can do it together, right"

Then Gina fell into the best sleep in a long time.


                                                ***

A.L. Wright*