After the War--The Journals

In which we appreciate dandelions

Day 32 or Month 1,Day 2 or April 27, 2005

6am

I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. I know it is because of my blood pressure. I haven’t had my blood pressure medicine in weeks. My ankles are swollen and my left calf feels so tight. My head hurts too much to write.


1pm

The weather of late has been very strange. A week ago it was as if it were mid summer, temps in the 80’s. This past weekend we had snow and rain. Today we had hail. Freddy used to say that a spring snow was the farmer’s fertilizer. He never mentioned hail. It was only pea sized, but everyone came running in from the garden.

Timmy was so excited. That little boy is really beginning to open up. He calls me Grammy Lilac. He brought me in a fist full of dandelions. I wonder if they are growing in other parts of the country this spring? I expect they are. Somehow I think they would survive. My pretty yellow flowers are in a vase I found in the cupboard over the stove. Their heads are drooping now, but it is a nice bit of normalcy: a spring day and a grubby handful of dandelions. Timmy lost a tooth today. Did the tooth fairy survive the war?


3pm
Dal here. We had freaking hail today! One minute we were working on the garden and bammm…the next minute we are being pounded with ice! Spring in Vermont? Or Nuclear Spring?

Skye and I are headed down into town tomorrow. We are leaving early. We want to see if we can find out what is going on at Mom’s castle. Maybe we can get her some blood pressure medicine in town as well. (A little B & E is good for the Warrior’s Soul) Who would ever have thought we’d be living a realm’s game. Too much.

We have some other business in town as well. We talked to Duncan and Lilac and worked out a plan. All I’m saying about that.

Wish Mom felt better.


10pm

The house is quiet once again. Everyone else is asleep, except for me and Danny and I think he is just about out too. Timmy put his tooth under his pillow tonight. We had a discussion later about the Tooth fairy and what she might leave. A quarter doesn’t work any more, but we all decided to keep the magic going. Dal donated a smooth stone from the pouch he carries. It is a Petosky Stone. It looks like a smooth beehive pattern made out of rock. He says they are only found around the Great Lakes. He also said it was fitting because the name came from the Indian word “Petosgay” meaning "sunbeams of promise." Seems fitting somehow.

Skye and Dal are heading into town tomorrow morning. We have great unmentionable plans, but I need to talk about them. It seems vital to me that we carry on such trivial, perhaps, traditions such as tooth fairies and other things. We need that framework still. That sense of the familiar in an unfamiliar world. There is an undercurrent of excitement surrounding the trip and I think it is good for us.

Sammy, I expect, will be frantic until they return safely. But she will be okay. She’s quite a woman. She and I had a long talk the other night. Far be it for me to kiss and tell, but she has awakened some parts of me I thought long dead, or perhaps, permanently inert. I can be myself around her. I can be weak around her and not feel ashamed. I can be strong and feel like a white knight out of one of my books. I like that, being able to be all things to someone. It has been too long since I felt that way.

Thus ends day 32 (I prefer the day count. April seems from another lifetime. Day 1.2 maybe. Too tired to make sense of it.


Day 33. 6 am

Now I know for sure that Sammy is really under the weather. She isn’t awake yet and just mumbled something when I tried to wake her up. She slept through the kids embarking on their great trip to town. Perhaps it is for the better. Seems we all had our shopping lists of things to try to bring home. One of which is another notebook. This is the last page in this one. Lilac made sure they had some food with them and was fussing like the two of them were off on a date. I hope they get home today, but we talked about it and there is a good possibility they won’t be home for a day or two. God speed….

I keep mentioning ‘home.’ This place is that. It is our home. We are a family, or well on our way to becoming one. I hope they find some medicine for Sammy. I’m worried about her.

10 pm

No kids as yet. I’m staying up a while longer, but I am not expecting them to come in yet tonight.