Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

02/17/07 - I Called the Doctor

Yesterday I made an appointment to see my gynecologiest. Or rather I made an appointment to have a blood test done.

I have a feeling that 'the thing' that I've been afraid to face, is upon me. 'The thing' is menopause. YIKES! Just saying it strikes fear in my heart. I made the appointment because, since November, it feels like I have PMS coming on, but then nothing happens.

This week, I will go, have the blood test done, and the doctor's office will call me with the results. You may think that I'm jumping the gun, but I have this 'need to know' mentality. This has always gotten me into trouble. I inevitably find-out things that I am better off not knowing.

If the results reveal that 'yes' I am in the throes of menopause, how will that change my outlook on life? What will my husband say, or do? Will I finally be able to get rid of the blanket my husband insists we need on our bed? Will I no longer need that stack of panties that have been relegated to 'that week' of the month? Will I have the uncontrollable urge to join The Red Hat Society?

These are the thoughts that have been clouding my mind since I made the appointment. For those of us who have yet to go through menopause, I must tell you it is something that we are not looking forward to, and even fear. In some ways I feel it is a signal that you are in the last stage of your life. In other ways, it is somewhat liberating in the fact that you no longer need to spend a small fortune on 'items' from the feminine hygiene aisle.

It's kind of strange that just as I am ending my dependency on the feminine hygiene items, my daughter needs them. Isn't nature something else? It is almost as if nature said, "You're done, but you are next."

I remember when my mother went through menopause. It was not pleasant to be around her. Her mood swings were wicked. One minute she was asking me if I needed lunch money, and the next she was chewing me out for asking her for money. When I talked back, she asked me, "What's your problem? What, are you going through 'the change' or something?" Yeah right, I was thirteen years old at the time. She had hot flashes, cold flashes, mood swings and night sweats. She finally, finally, went to the doctor and complained. He issued a prescription for Estrogen and sent her on her way. My brothers and I breathed a sigh of relief. She had a prescription for miracle pills as far as we were concerned. But, having the pills and taking them are two different things. And my mother was never good at taking medicine. So, the pills fell by the wayside, and we suffered right along with her.

These are the memories I associate with menopause. Now maybe you can understand my reluctance to step over that line. I don't want to turn into my mother. THAT is scarier than menopause.

I hope you all have a GREAT day!

P.S. For more of my thoughts on this
subject, check-out

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