Mental Meanderings

Looking in the Mirror

Do you ever face occasions when you really have to look in the mirror and honestly evaluate yourself and your life to date? Are any of us really satisfied with who we have become or the choices we've made so far? I know ever moment is a chance to change so I go forward with hope for better things but I stare at the reflection I know is me and don't recognize myself.

There is a Disney movie called Mulan where the protagonist sings a really beautiful song that reflects at least in part exactly what I mean:

"Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

The rest of the song focuses on how she has to hide who she really is from the world because she won't be accepted in her culture for the powerful woman she is inside. It talks of wearing a mask to hide who she is and present a different face to the world. I think a lot of us live like that. With our changing masks that come on and off and change.

Sometimes we just reach a point where we stand alone and we take away all the masks and lay them aside allowing ourselves to face, perhaps for the first time the truth of who we really are inside. It's not the face we show our work collegues, always punctual, competent, knowledgable, dedicated. It's not the face we show our friends, outgoing, funloving, inspiring, challenging. It's not the face we show our children, strong, unphasable, all seeing, entirely unconditionally loving.

Our unmasked face is underneath all that which can be parts of who we really are but aren't all of ourself. Sometimes pealing away the masks is like unraveling the bandages on the face of a burns victim. Underneath is the deformed, damaged raw skin and flesh where the bones show through because the burns cut so deeply. The face is ravaged by time and pains and trauma that comes with living.

Othertimes we see the wounds but we also see the potential to flourish. We heal and we can see the healing happens so rapidly that even as we watch we can see the pink folds of flesh joining together. We look in the mirror at a face that we don't recognize but we know instinctively that, "Yeah, that is me. That's how I really look, faults and all." And when we're at peace we can come to acceptance. We say, "Yeah that's me and I'm ok."

I wonder how many people have had to look at themselves like this and known that there was no way backward. You have to heal and you have to accept yourself, faults and all, and allow yourself to grow from that point. I wonder how many people saw themselves and destroyed a part of themselves rejecting it.

Inside we all have an inner child, that came through our childhood and keeps us young, the innocent spark of life that remains within. To have a chance we have to look in the mirror at our ravaged faces and accept ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally. Because anything less just burns more flesh from our faces, just crushes that joyous spirit of our inner child, forcing us to grow up too fast and lose that sense of wonder and miracle.

I look in the mirror, and I'm ok, not perfect but doing the best I can and I'm ok with that. Are you ready to take away your masks and see yourself exactly as you are? *hands out free mirrors*