Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

02/14/07 - Happy Valentine's Day!

Today is the day we are supposed to show our love to those around us. There are so many different ways to do this - expensive jewelry, exotic vacations, or even new cars. Seeing how I can't afford any of those things, I chose to do this by making a special meal for my family. On my menu for this day I wrote "Surprise - my choice". You would think I wrote "Your're dead" or "Rat meat" the way my family reacted.

"What does that mean?" they asked, the fear in their voices so thick you could cut it with a knife. Or, "What are you making that you can't tell us?" They are so worried that I'm going to make something healthy they are breaking-out in a sweat. The two of them are acting this way. Gimme a break. Don't they know that I would make something THEY like, rather than what they should be eating. (If you've read my blog prior to today, you know they are junkfood addicts.)

Although I write about my husband and his many hilarious ways of reacting and doing things, I do love and appreciate him. In fact, when I was writing my Valentine's Day card to him, I got stuck as to how to convey my love to him in just a few words and a small space.

I finally settled on "You'll never know how much I love and appreciate you in my life. For always and forever." I know he loves me too. This morning when I turned on the kitchen light, there on the counter was a bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates. My husband usually does this every Valentine's Day. The chocolates are a new addition. He must be thinking outside the box.

I say that because my husband's gifts to me are predictable. For Christmas he has a formula for buying me presents, and he sticks to it no matter what. His thinking must be, "If it was a hit last year, it will be a hit again this year." He works on the "P+P+P+J+J = a happy wife formula." You don't know what that is? Well let me educate you.

The first "P" stands for perfume. Every year he gives me a new bottle of my favorite perfume. I remember one year I asked for a bottle of 'White Shoulders' perfume and he gave me 'White Diamonds'. I imagined him walking over to the perfume counter at our local department store and telling the clerk, "It's "White" something."

The next "P" is for pajamas. For the past few years he has gone to Victoria's Secret for these. They're nice and I do like them, however, this past Christmas he bought me a pair that has "Pink University" or something like that on the shirt. I feel kind of silly seeing as how I'm practically in my mid-forties. Hey, if he thinks I look good in them, who am I to discourage that?

The next "P" is for panties. These, too, he buys at Victoria's Secret. He's usually pretty good with them, but again, this year he bought some kind of 'low-rise' style. I don't know who these are suppose to fit, but on me, half my ass hangs out. Is that how they are supposed to look? If so, then I guess they are fine. Amongst the five pair that he bought were ones that had writing on the butt. I'm not a "I have writing on my butt" kind of person. I have yet to wear these.

The first "J" is for jewelry. This is his greatest strength. He always hits a homerun no matter if he buys me a necklace, earrings, bracelet or ring. He should stop here and be done.

And finally the last "J" is for jeans. I know every year this is the hardest gift for him to find. I like straight leg jeans that 'sit at the waist'. In fact, Levi's 501 buttonfly jeans are my absolute favorites. Do you know how hard it is to find these? One year he couldn't find them so he went to the local Gap Store. They had what they called 'Classic Cut' jeans. They were fine - not Levis, but good enough. The next year he went back to The Gap to buy me another pair. The clerk helped him and off he went. Christmas morning I opened them and saw the words "flare leg" and "low-rise". I knew that I was in trouble. I don't like the flare leg jeans because I feel like they flop around my ankles. As for the 'low-rise', well, I constantly feel like I need to pull them up. They were a disaster. I chronicled my whole experience of returning these in my essay "My Quest for the Perfect Pair of Jean"

My Quest for the Perfect Pair of Jeans  (E) Being beyond the 'low-rise' jeans age - buying jeans has become a challenge! #1082505 by Victoria

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Despite his predictability, he does his very best to make me happy. And like I said, sometimes he does venture "outside the box" and throw me a curve. Like the chocolates. Now I'm wondering if he expects me to share them with him, or do I have to hide them just so I can enjoy them myself? If you think I'm going to share them, then you should read

I DON'T Share Chocolate!  (E) My husband just doesn't understand - I DON'T share chocolate! #1116968 by Victoria

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I hope you all have a very Happy Valentines's Day!