Mental Meanderings

Pleasure vs. Pain and Associations.

How many tasks do you think I could load into my day and accomplish? If I break everything down into it's smallest fraction and actually worked off getting it all done I'm pretty sure I could pack a great deal into my day. Certainly more than I presently do. It's 10PM and I feel like I've had a full day but I look more closely and notice a lot of time I've spent accomplishing nothing but mental meanderings.

For me procrastination is a serious issue. I know everyone probably procrastinates a little. There are things we put off for whatever reason when if we'd done it now it would be over. I find myself reflecting on undone things lately. The feel like anthills as the activity I do all around it builds it up instead of taking a great sweeping gesture to eradicate the nest.

Today I was doing the exercise thing with my mother. Yes, amazing, a whole week and still going strong. We're both feeling wonderful about the workouts and get a lot of time to talk and explore new ideas together. One of the things my mother brought into the equation was some CD's we could listen to while we work out that focus on various elements of life.

Day 2 involved Pain vs. Pleasure. Lifes motivators. It related to how everything we do is in a desire to increase our pleasure and avoid pain. Ok, so that's a simplified way of looking at it but basically, if you associate exercise with pain because of past associates between exercise being painful you just don't want to exercise. Because in your mind exercise = pain. If you associate exercise with pleasure instead you enjoy exercising. I've discovered this is particularly true. I love spending the time with my mother chatting and exercising together. It's harmonious and companionable which to me has always equalled pleasure.

There are all sorts of things in our lives that are associated negatively. Dieting is often seen as denying yourself pleasure. The pleasure you get from foods that you really love that are 'bad' for you. Now I know from having done weight watchers that there is no such thing as bad food. The only thing that really matters is quantity.

Ohh, you didn't know that? For anyone who's ever wanted to lose weight that's the key. You can have cereal or oreos for breakfast. The oreos are chocolate and cream. What would be considered a 'bad' food. The cereal is wholemeal grain with dried fruit and nuts, 'good' food. You CAN eat oreos for breakfast and lose weight. But you can only have 1 or 2 oreos as a breakfast which would probably not satisfy your hunger. It's also high-gi which means it won't be long before you're hungry again. Have the bowl of cereal, it's low-GI, and satisfying, giving you the energy you need to start off your day with a clear mind.

I found by accepting the fact that you don't have to cut anything out while trying to lose weight, 'dieting' became something enjoyable. I can have takeaway, so long as I account for the fact I've had it and have less somewhere else. I also found the positive inforcement of not eating junkfood is pleasureable.

When your dieting and you slip up what's the first thing you do? Berate yourself for not sticking to your diet. Now notice I said, "for not sticking to your diet"? You're not berating yourself for eating a whole block of chocolate but because having eaten it you've blown your diet. The chocolate was pleasurable the diet is pain. I used to reward unevenly in this regard. I'd beat myself up over having gone off the rails but I'd forget to reward and encourage when I said no to the things my body doesn't need. But really, it feels wonderful to walk past the confectionary isle in the shop. Make it through the check out. Walk out the door and say, "Yeah! Fantastic job! Look at all the healthy choices you made. You're going to look fantastic when you step on the scales next week."

Listening to the CD had me wondering more about the various things in life that are associated to pleasure or pain and how I could turn it around.

For example:
Every Monday I'm supposed to sit down and write a lesson for The Tools of Poetry Workshop. This is definately something I have been associating with pain. There is a great deal of self doubt and flagellation involved while researching and writing the lessons. I convince myself I do not have the knowledge, experience, or quality in my own work to feel like I have a right attempting to guide others.

Of course this leads me to procrastinate because I don't want to face the 'pain' of writing the lesson. Some weeks it gets so bad that Monday comes and goes without a new lesson. And I feel better, because I let myself off the hook. Or other weeks I write the lesson. I suffer the pain and then feel pleasure after it's finally over and I can ignore it until next Monday.

I realized that this is a destructive way to approach such an important project. It shouldn't be painful to write those lessons. When I was writing it this week I messaged my best friend about how painful it was and he came out with something I thought was profound. I'm paraphrasing how it hit me rather than his exact words but it was like: "You love people, you love writing, you love poetry, write what you love."

He was exactly right and looking at it from that perspective changed how I saw the process. The research became an adventure, a chance to learn more about a subject I love. The lesson itself a chance for me to share my excitement and interest in a topic I love. The workshop itself was no longer me standing up there telling people how to write poetry it became me telling people how much I love these little tricks and techniques that can enhance everyone's poetry.

I'm wondering how I'll go when I put this process into practice next Monday. It will be interesting to know if the lessons become more enjoyable to participate in for others not just to write for me. I know one of my concerns has been that if it's so painful to write, surely it must be painful to read.

There are all sorts of things in our lives that are affected by our associations. For chocoholics like me perhaps the answer to dealing with our addiction is to change our associations. Congratulate ourselves and gain pleasure from walking past it in the shop and not buying any. If you're stronger than me spend some time with a block in your hand staring at it and telling yourself all the reasons eating that block will be painful and all the pleasure you'll gain from not eating it.

What sort of traits in your life would you like to change? Quit smoking? Do homework? Housework? Learn something? Really it could be anything at all. If you consider the possible pain and pleasure associations involved and turn them to your favor perhaps the power of change will work through you. Perhaps you'll find your Personal Power.