Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

02/06/07 - My Writing

Today my blog entry is more serious than it usually is. I woke up in a weird state of mind. Please bear with me as I tell you my story of how and why this blog came about. Tomorrow I promise to get back to my reflections on every day life.

I've been doing plenty of thinking about my writing lately. My dream has always been to be a writer - as long as I can remember. I left the dream once I entered the working world, but the dream never left me.

I started a course on writing for children, but somewhere along the way I began to write hurmorous essays. I found this to be my niche. I enjoy this type of writing and it comes easily to me. WDC has been a major motivator for me. I love the feedback that I receive as it helps me to hone my skills.

Last year was the year when I told myself I would get published. This came about because of a conversation that took place with my husband. It was Christmas night and we were at a party at my mother-in-law's home. I had way too many kamikazi's and began 'complaining' about the presents I received from my husband. You see all I wanted for Christmas was a place somewhere in my home where I could write. I remember making the announcement in September that I wanted a desk, a chair, and a book shelf - somewhere in the house so I could write. Needless to say, I didn't get what I wanted. Don't get me wrong, my husband gave me some wonderful presents, just not what I wanted. So, when I got drunk, I began to talk about it.

The next day, when I woke up with a hangover, my husband filled me in on the previous night's performance. "You kept saying that you were this "great" writer," he told me and there was such sarcasm in his voice that, although I was upset that I made a scene in front of my mother-in-law, the sound of his sarcasm stayed with me. I secretly vowed that I would get published "and show him!"

Through friends, I met an editor of a local alternative monthly newspaper. I submitted a column to him to see if it was good enough for his paper. What he read, he liked. He gave me a shot at writing a column. I would be published! The first thing my husband asked me was, "Do you get paid for that?" When my answer was 'no', my husband walked away with that look on his face that said - to me - "it doesn't count."

My first column appeared in the newspaper - a half page column. Everyone who read it, enjoyed it and told me that I missed my calling. Essays began to flow out of me and I kept my eyes open for things around me that would be 'column-worthy'. Then something unexpected happened. The newspaper shut-down and I was left without an outlet for my column.

I decided to submit the published piece to 'Ladies Home Journal' only to be rejcted with "too similiar to articles prevously published by us" as the reason. This would be the last time that I submitted something to a paying market. I have to admit that it took the wind out of my sails. Since then, my writing fell by the wayside. I started a new job and concentrated on learning those skills. Everytime I sat down to write, I met a brick wall and nothing flowed to my pen. I had extreme writer's block. For six months I wrote nothing.

As 2007 was about to begin, I thought about my life's goals. Writing was the first thing on my list. I told myself that I would write everyday, even if I had nothing to say. This blog was started to keep me in the habit of writing daily. I decided that my blog would not be the usual two or three sentence blogs that don't have any entertainment value. I also decided that I wouldn't write about heavy political issues or any controversial subject. I would stay true to my original idea of writing a humor column, only in "blog-format".

Since getting into the flow of writing daily, I have been able to get some wonderful columns from my daily blog entries. These I add to my portfolio where they now sit, waiting for others to rate and review them.

My whole point for telling you this is because I feel ready to have a column in a paying market. I want to take my writing to the next level. This is the year I get paid for my writing. However, having said that, now I have no idea on how to make that happen.

I don't know why I am burdening you with this. I guess I just wanted to make the statement to myself, that I am serious about my writing. Admittedly, I'm afraid to go to the next level and meet with rejection. What if I submit my work and no one else wants it? What if my husband is right - this is a hobby and nothing more than that? What if my dream is nothing more than 'a dream'? I don't know that I am prepared for that revelation.

Whew! Sorry, but I had to get that 'out of me'. Tomorrow will be my usual style - I promise.

Hope you all have a great day!