Who Am I?

Someday I need to learn to keep my mouth shut

Jan 16,2007

One of these days I will learn to keep my mouth shut.  For anyone who knows me....they know this is highly unlikely.  While I'm a bit shy until you get to know me, I'm rarely quiet and have an opinion on many things.  I will keep it to myself if I'm concerned with offending someone, but even that depends on the topic.  Where is this going...lol, you may be sorry you asked.

This afternoon we were driving down the road and C (my 10 year old) saw 2 horses in a fenced off area on the side of the road.  We've seen these horses many times and my kids watch for them.  This time however the male of the duo was in the act of trying to convince the female to procreate.  My daughter, with terror in her voice says "Mom, those horses are fighting!"  Now, she's 10 and we've had a few discussions of where babies come from and the changes in her body etc...but the look on her face when I advised her they were not fighting, and she realized exactly what was going on was priceless.  And then it was ewwww, that's gross, why did you tell me that.  For the record, all I had told her at that point was that they weren't fighting.  However, my response to her was, did you want me to lie to you?  LOL...she said, well, I'm never doing that, I'm never having kids, I"m adopting.  This is the point at which I should have kept my mouth shut. Because I wanted her to understand and grow up with a sense of what goes on, because I'm stupid and thought she needed to have a clearer picture, I said "Babies are not the only reason people do that sweetheart"  The look on her face was one of confusion.  "What else for?"  BIG SIGH FROM MOM...how do you explain this to a child of 10 who I want to remain pure and yet want to have an accurate understanding of what's going to be going on in her own head and her own mind in a few years. So, I started at square one, replied that as far as I knew, animals did that to procreate, well the ones that don't lay eggs...this produced  many giggles.  Because actually what I said was, chickens bodies don't join together because they lay eggs.  And then she said, why did you have to use chickens mom?  I told her because I was looking for something to explain that laid eggs....she says in quite the haughty tone"what about birds"  Ok, so birds laying eggs instead of copulating is less funny than chickens to a 10 year old...lol...I then tried to explain that sex is a gift from God to married people and it's used to bond married people together.  And that's why it happens for just more than making babies.  I also advised her that while it's not just for making babies, babies can happen at any time from it and there are consequences from those actions...and that's another reason that it is for married people.  I'm not sure how well I did, she let it drop and so did I.  It's such a struggle to find the openings to share without giving too much information.  And yet...

Early in my marriage, that area of our lives was not such a good thing.  I came in carrying baggage, having a rather warped view of the marriage bed.  My beloved was my first but I didn't have a good understanding of alot of things....I was young and it took quite a few years to fix the mistakes we made.  One of the reasons I had a bit of confusion was my own parents attitudes towards the marriage bed and I want my daughter to know that sexuality between 2 adults is a beautiful and wonderful gift from God.  I also want her to be firm enough in who she is and where she is going to wait until she's old enough to appreciate that gift.  I want her to be secure and focused.  I also don't want her running scared from talking to me....lol

And they tell me it only gets worse.

Mind you, I'm thankful we can have these conversations...but I find myself at a loss....

Anybody know of any good books, Christian in nature, to explain things to her better...pre teen level....that will give the basics but also the attitude and beliefs I'm trying to get across?