NOW THAT'S NOT FUNNY

Dead or Alive: Which is worse?

Seems to me, "Dead is Dead"... and the way I'm feeling about absolutely everything - Dead is less painful, less annoying, less maddening than being barely Alive. I'm certainly feeling barely alive... my strength is depleted. I still crave cigarettes... don't tell me how stupid that is - I KNOW HOW STUPID THAT IS!!!

I am so depressed. I am sure that most of the depression that I'm feeling is "to be expected"... maybe? The hospital people pumped quarts and quarts of only God knows what into and through my system... I see a heart doctor Wednesday... I have no idea what to expect. What good will it do? What's the point?

My son is leaving for Iraq Feb. 8th, 2007... I fear I've seen him for the last time - I sit here making deals with God... take me... I've raised mine... he has a new son to raise... a young wife...

I'm not really old by today's measure of old... I'm 53... I'll turn 54 at the end of this month if I make it to the end of this month...

I know where Washington, D.C. is... a part of me wants to go there... but how does a regular, everyday citizen of the United States get one of these Republicans or Democrats to listen to reason and act with some semblence of sanity...

Then again, let's go to War with Iran... a nuclear war at that...I got nothing left to lose... I got one foot in the grave... My son is going to be in Iraq anyway... my health sucks... I'm probably not going to be around to say, "I told you so."

Do you watch Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe? Well you should... I think it's a hoot.