Breathing Room

The L Word

Okay I have never been so damn conscious of my lips as I was yesterday. I was aware of how I talked to people, when I looked at someone I mean when I breathed I was worried about my damn lipstick. I think I held my mouth all funny - I couldn't decide whether to keep it slightly open (just to make sure lipstick didn't get on my teeth) but then I thought people might think I'm trying to look sexy or something. So I made it all the way until noon. Then I took it off because I was snacking on popcorn and everytime I put popcorn in my mouth lipstick got on my fingers and the whole food thing - so I took it off. So I knew people noticed the red so I didn't just want to give up so soon, so I put it back on around 1:30 and the end of the day was a lot easier. I wasn't as conscious but I just couldn't relax completely. The red had me on my toes. I was happy to get home yesterday. I'll try again in a different venue. I thing I'll try it in Cali (I'm going home for X-MAS) and I think I might be more comfy wearing it at home.

So at home I moved on to the other L Word - the show on Showtime that I got hooked on through On Demand since this past Sunday. I'd heard of it before but was never interested. But with On Demand I've been watching things I otherwise wouldn't because the I love the beauty of stop and pause and watching whenever I feel like. So anyway this is such a lesbian show but what I like about it is the fact that there are very strong women characters. The friendships (aside from the rampant sex) are great and I like the whole female bonding thing. I don't know why on television a lot when feminism is discussed or depicted it tends to be on lesbian type shows but I do like the show. Its interesting. I like women connections in the sense that female friendships are important and I wish the whole stereotype of women being catty with each other and judgemental would end or change because it can definitely be true.

BUT - at the end of the day, I need to come home to a man...