My Time

Wronlin and His Watch

I open my eyes, but I'm still in the same place as I was when I fell asleep. It didn't work. I uncurl my cramped fingers, and the watch is still lodged in my palm like a part of my hand. Like an old fashioned pocketwatch, only there are thirty notches around the edge instead of twelve, and none of them have numbers etched.
"Shit!" I spit at the watch, and barely suppress the urge to crush it. It mocks me, in the safety of the palm that cannot crush it for fear of it breaking forever.

It's broken forever anyway.

How the hell am I supposed to work it? Wronlin didn't leave any instructions. Just a note saying: you'll know what to do. Yeah, I'll know what to do. If I knew what to do I wouldn't still be in the year 2012 now, would I Wronlin? You got it all wrong, Wronlin. I never know what to do - I'm the most indicisive person in the world. You knew that, Wronlin, so why did you leave the watch to me? I can still remember that last conversation we had, you know. My whole life since you died has been a myriad of bland cliches. I don't think I can stand my own life any more, Wronlin, without the burden of what's left of yours. Your life's work. This stupid watch I can't even work! You were the cleverest man I ever knew. You were my brother and my father to take the place of my real brother and father.
"What do you expect me to do, Wronlin?" I ask aloud of the ceiling. It's getting damp again, I see. I can't afford this, but I'm not going back home. I can't.

Wronlin, you were the barrier that stood between me and all that I hated. Now I'm exposed to everything, and half the time I walk about in a nightmare. It's been an eternity, I know. f*** it, you should go to hell for leaving me in this world. I was your son! Blood didn't tie us, but I was your son!

You said this thing would take me away. That's all I want - to be away from this world. How can I stay here? I can't. I don't want to have to know this place again ever. I don't want to have to look up at a writhing grey sky, or a clear sapphire sea. I don't want to have to see anything that is of this world. This world that broke me. I want to find my time. Another time, somewhere else. Another time that will heal me and leave me a better person than I ever was here, in 2012.

But how can I do it? You never told me how to use your life's work, Wronlin. You kept saying you'd show me next time, show me next time, show me next time. But we all know - everyone in this world - that next time never comes. Finality shears through next time. Death shears through next time.

How can I find my time?