L'aura del Campo

Half-naked dreams? 'Getting the stain out of genes!

A really weird dream with Matt Damon in it! I want a room of my own. Two poems: 'Getting the stain out of genes' and 'Our river Styx'. Images from the balcony. Links to music and video. Are Swedes everywhwere? Negative political ads. Quote from Black Hawk. Emily Dickinson. Marzanna Kielar. Yusef Komunyakaa.

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███████          L'aura del campo           ███████

AUTUMN: 1 Qudrat (4 November)

'é a lua,  é a lua,  na quintana dos mortos'
♣    Federico García Lorca    ♣

MY THOUGHTS

I divert my self from the present by daydreaming, by writing, by pretending everything is okay. That doesn't help all the time of course and sometimes makes it worse. Instead of hunting down life I wait for it to come shoot me. I have a therapist to help me with this now.

I can be diverted by good conversation, a good book, noticing the natural images surrounding me, a football game. Trauma however lurks around every bend. It ambushes me when I least expect it. The ensuing panic attack or shutting down can be difficult on friends or those who try to help.

What do I want? A room of my own, freedom to come and go, time to read and write and teach and learn. A space to breathe. This has never been considered a basic Human Right in the U.S. There is a frontier mentality of the survival of the fittest. For artists this is difficult. Fighting over the basics, be it food, clothing or shelter takes precedence over the quiet contemplative time needed for writing.

My name may not be Emily. But I increasingly understand why Ms. Dickinson coccooned herself. For some of us, life is not about crawling over other peoples dead bodies to get what we want.

Some links about dear Emily:

http://education.yahoo.com/reference/encyclopedia/entry/DickinsoE
http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/155
http://www.bartleby.com/113/index.html

WEATHER

47º and clear where I am.
50º in Gothenburg, Sweden.
36º in Missoula, Montana.

IMAGES

Observed just now from the front balcony:

A dance of leaves; the breeze playing the linden tree; the metal tin tin tin of chimes; two trees across the street almost denuded; the sycamore still mostly green; this worn green wooden porch, two chairs; the passing traffic headed north, me going nowhere.

DREAMS

I don't sleep well and I usually don't have dreams like other folks (that I remember that is). So ... I was tossing and turning because I had to do a presentation {poetry, talk, whatever ...) and people kept coming into my room while I was taking a shower. I distictly remember grabbing a couple kids and going out in the lobby half naked to ask whose kids they were. That led to quite an adventure down corridors and dining rooms and walking uninvited into meetings still half dressed. Eventually I went to my presentation late entering the room and grabbing someone's hat and someone else's jacket, no pants, and fighting with the microphone to give my talk. On leaving to go sign books, I asked for Matt Damon's pants (he looks better half dressed than I do) and he obliged with one of his trademark smirks. Anywho, I made quite an impression and the hotel was not amused (Vegas? L.A.?)

What's odd about this dream? I don't do half naked for anyone! I don't even wear shorts or walk around without a shirt. I was raised to be very modest. Not so odd: I've wanted to meet Matt Damon ever since I saw 'Good Will Hunting' on New Year's Eve.

POULTRY

Getting the stain out of genes

This splice of dna must be replaced,
the old paths exorcized. These strings
of GACCG must sing new melodies, each T
crisscrossed and noted.

Like guitar licks, laid down in layers
to produce the proper scream
at birth; their product must be AAA
like chicken eggs at market.

Like ... skin-tight-jeans, a perfect fit.

So sing out glad refrains,
no sad laments of yesterday
when one birthsuit each sufficed though life:
wrinkled, torn and splattered. [163.416]

for dizzyduck

Our River Styx

One bloats at death
this pregnancy that births our souls
to what comes next as worms
swim down our veins,
our River Styx,
as thoughts and flesh
loosen from our bones.

Who gnaws on them?

One bloats at death
then loses weight,
this diet,
one last success. [163.420]

WRITING

Writing poems. My green notebook is still missing. Checked again at Pélathé yesterday. Need to work on my novelette!

READING

Finished "Salt Monody" by Marzanna Kielar. I will need to reread her poetry and find more. This book of poetry is a keeper worthy of the bookshelf for anyone who loves to read or write poetry grounded in the natural landscape.

Magic City by Yusef Komunyakaa. I didn't care for something else I read of his, but these poems have strong ideas, narrative and magnificent use of language, subltle rhymes and rolling rhythms.

BLOGVILLE

I need to make some attempt at NaNoWriMo. So I may need to cut back my poetry and blog entries to devote the time to developing scenes for "Ao Hanada". Probably will read fewer blogs. There are about 100 I try to check in on. It may be cut back to just once a month, making those who leave comments here a priority. Sorry.

MY LIFE

continues. Last night had the pleasure of hearing Mik' LS who entertained us with guitar and harmonica at Aimée's Coffeehouse. I'd heard him play before. He has a very strong 1st tenor voice. He can hit a high F. Which lead us into a conversation about Morten Harket of the 80s boy-band Aha and his song "Take on me" when he hits a high E from the top. I'll have to go check out Mik's place: http://myspace.com/miklsmusic

Got to have a nice conversation with Elizabeth Svensson Ghali. Her dad was Swedish from Gothenburg. Her husband from Tunisia. I've known her daughter Anissa for quite awhile. I need to go visit her place at: http://www.vsocial.com./search/?s=land+lords+from+hell&sort=text&x=12&y=14#s:lan... Something about Land Lords from Hell! ... which intrigues me in a very real sense as there have been numerous problems in this college town. Wonder if she is taking it metaphorically or seriously? In the clip Anissa is Jonesy MacNeil.

WATT'S GNUS

Apparently we-all are affected by negative ads whether we want to be or not. In tight political elections they can throw a point or two either way. I wonder whether there will be any fallout from this year's campaign which has been particularly misleading and disgusting here in Kansas and apparently elsewhere. I find the senate campaign in Tenessee especially disturbing. Using the race-card in a state that still struggles with racial tensions is dispicable.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20061103/ap_on_sc/political_ads_scie...

QUOTE

"How smooth must be the language of the whites, when they can make right look like wrong and wrong like right."

- Black Hawk (Sauk)

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