Mental Meanderings

Back to nights and blemished calender

*pouts and prods the evil black mark on her calender* I stuffed up. I was returning to posting nights instead of mornings since it really is easier for me but I missed a whole 24+ hours and that means there is an evil black day on my calender.

I love that calender. It really is a huge inspiration to encourage daily blog entries. My aim since I returned to my blog is to get a blue calender and now that dream is destroyed for this month. That doesn't mean I'm going to give up making the rest of the calender blue however. One bad mark does not destroy a months work nor my desire to write every day.

At the moment I'm trying to focus on signing up the five newest members of "Invalid Item"  A whole bunch of new poets each very different and of course each taking the "Introduce Me" option on the survey. That means I need to take their comments from the survey and write up a little post about them to welcome them to the group. It's tough and requires some inspiration.

The other thing I'm working on atm is a poem. It's another sonnet, this time for a prompted contest, "SHAKESPEAREAN SONNET CONTEST: Closed " . I went in a different direction with this one and for some reason it's a real struggle. I'm fairly happy with the first and third verse but for I can't seem to get the second verse happening. I think I just need to turn everything else out of my head for an hour or two and take myself down into the imagery and setting, find a center there and then write from that.

I'm also disappointed that I'm not getting more work done. There is so much I want to do and yet the willpower struggles. It's been a battle all my life and I've still not come to grips with how to handle it. Motivation just isn't there to accomplish much of anything. How can I steadfastly write these blog entries and yet everything else just doesn't come about. Writing new material, housework, etc. There are some things I really do have happening in my life and yet in other areas, some of the most important areas, I just keep falling up short.

What is the secret recipe for bringing everything into balance? Lists that I don't stick to? Goals that I can't prioritise? Dreams that I struggle to realise? Time that there is never enough of? Sometimes it all seems too much. I don't understand how to make it work. Sometimes I just have to pick ONE thing and get it done. It means nothing else gets done between when I start that project and it's completion but at least one thing is completed rather than a dozen things started and nothing ever completed.

The trouble them becomes deciding which to do when. As I mentioned I'm in the midst of three projects right at this minute, my blog, the member intros, the poem I'm even in IM scrollie land although it's rather quiet in there so that's not draining my resources. I've got the TV on in the backgroun although I'm probably about to turn that off.

Part of me thinks it's time to write more lists. But the lists just grow and grow and grow. I have a list of people and items I want to raid, read, rate, and review but at the moment I really want to focus on getting more content into my port. I want to write short stories and focus on getting that under my belt. I want to be proficient at short stories. And yet I also want to focus on my poetry and obviously my TDG novel. So what comes first?

Perhaps I should look at scheduling time for each activity. Two hours here for that, two hours there for that, etc.? Does that work for others? Could it work for me?

The good news is I feel like I have more of a real life these days. For months at the beginning of this year the life beyond the computer had faded but now I'm more faceted. I'm making plans to do things with the house and outside of the house. It's not just 16 hours of computer screen and 8 hours sleep. I went out for the morning with my sister on Saturday and the kids and I had some fun doing that. We have plans for a Gala movie night on Thursday. Plans to go to the Royal Show this year. etc.

I'm planning on having a day out to go into the city to Alexandra Library tomorrow with Josh for a bit of an explore. It's been years since I've been there and I'd like to know if they have a kids section etc. and to check out their genealogy department and their literature department. If there is a creche I might spend a few hours there working on TDG.

Either way it should be fun to have a trip into the city. Hopefully I can avoid the bookstores since I need to be money conscious this week so that I don't blow out the mortgage money. I'm sunk low of my safe zone because I went for the new rather than old aircon option. Thankfully I can build up that zone again it just means I'm super aware of exactly how much money I have at the moment and that I can't splurg like I'm apt to do in bookstores. lol

Anyway, so much on my mind and so little else getting accomplished while I'm blogging. So back to the grind, hopefully I can get some things done in the couple of hours before bed. And I'll keep thinking over my motivation/time organization dilemmas. Suggestions on that are welcome and much appreciated.