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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/455251-Aint-I-Great
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #464720
You supply the reading. I'll supply the writing.
#455251 added September 17, 2006 at 3:43pm
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Ain't I Great
Why hello there you adorable little Thumb fan you. You're this entry's first reader! I'm tickled pink you stopped by. (I was beginning to think no one was going to show up)

Today's entry is a very special entry. It's a celebration of me, me, me, me, me and all that makes me soooooooooo great. *Bigsmile*

Before we begin, I'd like to point out I'm coming down with a cold. I'm typing this with a runny nose and stuffed sinuses. It probably wouldn't take much for me to get a headache either. How's that for dedication and devotion? I'm willing to put myself at death's door, just to please you...my loyal Thumb fans. It's that kind of sacrifice that's made me a legend among all the little people who worship me so much. I wonder if this kind of sacrifice and devotion is worthy of a knighthood? I wonder if that's how Mick Jagger became Sir Mick?

I'd like to start this Thumb tribute by answering any Thumb related questions you may have. So then, as this entry's first reader, you get the honour of asking me the first question...






















Reader?























Reader? Don't be shy. Ask me a question. Ask me anything...






















Hmmm. I take it you're in awe of my greatness huh? That's okay reader. How about I ask myself some questions for you then. Here goes...



Can you lend me some money?

No.


It's only till payday.

No.


Can I live at your place?

No.


Can I live in your car?

No.


Are going to eat that?

Yes.






This isn't going quite the way I expected it to. I must think up more serious Thumb appreciation type questions.

How do you feel about cannibalism?

I'm against it.


Boxers or briefs?

I prefer briefs. I find briefs on women sexy.


What's your favourite sexual position?

Wow! This is freaky. I was just thinking about my favourite sexual position. It's like you can read my mind. Please clarify though. Are you talking about in bed, in a car, in a ferris wheel gondola or in a clothing store change cubicle?


While waiting in line with your sister at a fishing tackle and bait store.

You're sick. I don't have a sister. I always wished I did...but NOT in the way you meant.


Do you have a daughter?

No. I also would have loved to have a daughter...but again, NOT in any sick perverted way. I think little girls should get plenty of hugs, be read plenty of bedtime stories and be called Princess often...but not by complete strangers mind you. They should always feel loved and be taught they can do anything they set their mind to. I would have taught mine to reach for the stars, to be proud and to be kind and be careful.


Can you lend me any money?

No. Please don't start that again.


What's your all time favourite bug?

Are you talking about insects?


Yes.

Well that's a tough one. There's been so many. If I had to chose just one, I'd probably go with a certain grasshopper I saw in Spain.


What made that bug so special?

Well besides the fact it was Spainish, I guess I'd have to say I loved it's values and totally carefree attitude. It didn't have a possession in the world, nor did it worry about where it's next meal was coming from, nor where it would be sleeping that night. It didn't worry about taxes or rising fuel prices or telemarketers, but it LOVED being a grasshopper and being alive. It seemed like a very happy little bug to me.


Are you afraid of dying?

No. Of course I'd prefer not to die in a really terrible gruesome way, or in an embarrassing way, or in a useless way. I'd prefer an honourable death and hopefully to die making a difference.


You're great. You're sooooooooo great. Have you always been this great?

Yes...and no...you can't live in my car.


Do you smell that?

Yes.


Is it you?

No. I thought it was you.


Do you remember your first kiss?

No. I believe I talked about this in one of my very first entries.


Are you a good kisser?

I guess that depends.


On what?

On if you like whisper soft touches or deep, wet, passionate kisses...and if I have a cold or not. I'm not nearly as sexy when I have a runny nose like I have right now.


Do you believe in faeries?

I'd like to. I believe in magic. This world is full of magic. There's soooooooooo much out there for us to discover. I like exploring. *Smile*


What kind of car do you drive?

A small one. (I've always loved small cars) It's much too small for you to live in. Sorry.


Cats or dogs?

I love all animals, but I vowed after Max died I wouldn't get another dog. I miss him.


What's your earliest childhood memory?

Again, I think I already answered this in a previous journal entry, but because I'm soooooooo great, I'll answer it again...just for you. *Heart* I seem to remember my brother and I throwing our toys out our bedroom window. I have absolutely no idea why we did that, but I remember we found it great fun. I also have another memory from that time period, (I must have been 3 or 4). There was lots of commotion as my father rushed to help the little boy who lived next door. He had eaten floor wax. I remember the ambulance taking him away. Personally I don't see the appeal of eating floor wax, not even when I was 3 or 4 years old. I guess that's just another thing that sets me apart from the little people. I also remember another next door neighbour child who climbed a tree, touched a power wire and electructed himself. Unfortunately he died. It can be really tough being a kid. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for children and animals. May God bless them all and keep them safe.


What's your favourite holiday?

Excellent question. Christmas has always been magical to me, especially as a child. I'll always cherish those memories of seeing the Christmas tree early Christmas morning and marvelling at all the decorations, presents and toys. My dad would sometimes open up one of our presents and display it under the tree. I'm talking about a huge farm set I got one year and a space set another year. That farm set was the first thing I can really remember wanting. I remember I cut out the tiny picture of it from out of the Sears catalouge, (I think it was Sears). I loved looking through the toy section back then. My dad had the farm set all laid out under the tree, with all the little plastic pieces carefully arranged. That was truly a magical Christmas for me. I'm very sorry there's sooooooooo many children out there without any magic in their lives. I think the Inuit, (Eskimos) got it right. They didn't go in for that Victorian "children should be seen but not heard" attitude. They wanted to see their children smiling. I've always felt childhood should be a time for magic, exploring and laughter. There's plenty of time for being serious and worrying when you're older.


You're great.

NO. I'm not giving you any money or one of my kidneys.


Well I guess I should wrap this entry up. Always leave them wanting more right?

Bye for now all you adorable little Thumb fans.

*Bigsmile*






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