Catching Idle Butterflies

Wait . . . only to wait some more and wait again.

Wait has always been one of those 'four-letter words' in my vocabulary. It seems God is always asking me to wait, and just when I think I'm finally moving forward, God asks me to wait again.

Nothing's changed, but I'm incrementally learning (though much against my will) the importance of waiting.

Part of the latest lesson I completed in "Write His Answer" required me to look up six different scriptural passages, and memorize the one that spoke the most to me.

In looking up the first one, my Bible opened up to that very page, and my eyes fell on that one verse without me having to search for it.

Still, I didn't think that one could be it. I looked up the rest, but not as quickly as the first. They also didn't speak to me any more than the first.

I decided to study the first one, and soon discovered - partly to my dismay - that's what God wanted me to learn. What cemented it, though, happened last night through an email conversation between letgocling and me. She mentioned that same verse - twice. Yep, God's trying to tell me something"

"Wait patiently for the Lord.
         Be brave and courageous.
         Yes, wait patiently for the Lord" ~Psalms 27:14

I have been impatient, however silent.

Though I've been writing, I haven't been writing what I need to write - what God wants me to write.

Because of this, I have been waiting for that inspiration I, yes expect, to receive from God, getting nothing instead.

Soon after I wrote down that scripture, I read this from "Writing for the Soul" on page 42:

Question: Have you ever rejected a big contract offer because it voilated your personal convictions?

Absolutely. In fact, more than once. A few years ago, I was presented with a novel series idea that would have been my biggest deal ever to that point. I warmed to the idea quickly, even though it wasn't mine. We talked, negotiated, settled, and signed. Often I can gauge the potential success of an idea by how much I think about it during my free time. This one just sat there.

I didn't get any peace until I decided I couldn't do it, despite the huge check already in my account. I sent the money back. I'd like to think I would have done that even if I had really needed the money. I couldn't write a story that didn't captivate me, not for any amount of money or what I could have done with it.

Though not nearly to that scale, I have the same feelings toward the science fiction story I just finished. Even the reviews I've received on it so far indicate my lack of passion for the story comes through with every word.

I will have to scrap it.

You have no idea how difficult not adding "I think" to the above sentence was.

Truth is, if I am to move forward, I have to scrap all the other short stories I've started and not finished as well. By trying to write them, I'm holding myself back from everything God wants me to write.