The Life Of Me.

Tatters

Everything just feels so wrong at the moment.

My relationship, my friends....

Martin and I are arguing all the time. I know I'm hormonal at the moment, and I start arguments a lot...but he said he wasn't 100% sure he wanted to move in with me, because he's got a lot of worries, and is scared about the future.

I feel like I'm just waiting to get out of here. My mum just shouts at me for no reason ALL the time, and I don't get it. First she wants me to stay at home...now she's practically forcing me to get out! I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I just want to start fresh. I want to move onto the next phase of my like, and I know that doesn't begin when I'm still living at home.

I'm just sick of having no confidence. I want to be independent. I want to be someone who takes care of themselves. I want to be liked and loved most of all I feel so alone...I've only got my boyfriend...and it's not because I don't have friends...I do...I just don't fit in...

God....Martin can go out with his friends for however long he wants. With me, I have to go clubbing with mine cause they live so far away. I dunno. I'm having a confidence crisis.

I hate the way I look. I want to feel sexy and comfortable in my clothes. I don't want to have to worry about my food. I want to like myself. I want to feel like a nice person. Someone that people like. Someone that anyone can like....I just feel like such an ugly person

I feel like everyone's better without me. Sometimes I want to hurt myself so badly to see if anybody would actually care. I'm scared.