Catching Idle Butterflies

Not all the good die young

Not all the good people die young. Some, the best humanity has to offer live long, full lives, bringing kindness joy and laughter to everyone they meet.

Dave's grandmother, just turned 91 in April, is one such lady. I want to introduce you to her, because she's been on my mind since yesterday. She was taken to the hospital with pneumonia in both lungs. After work, Dave and I will be driving down to Linton to visit her. She's stable and in good spirits, but any prayers you can send her way would be most appreciated. Thanks.

Over the last five years, she has been giving all her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren books of her past experiences titled "Grandma's Yarns I-IV." So instead of telling you what a great sense of humor Grandma Woods has, I will show you by sharing with you two excerpts of her first book:

BREAD

The week before I got married, Mom decided I should learn to bake bread. She did her usual pinch of this and a handful of that and utterly confused me.

My first few attempts were pretty grim because I didn’t know how to regulate a wood-burning stove.

One day in the winter of 1937 I tried a new recipe hoping for better results. I dissolved the yeast in warm water and a little sugar, then mixed the other ingredients and set it all in a warm place to rise. Nothing happened! Didn’t I knead it right? Was the temperature wrong? Finally I looked around and discovered that I hadn’t added the yeast to the flour mixture. Too late now!

In my frustration I carried the lump of dough down the beaten path to the outhouse and tossed it as far as I could, into a snowbank. Later that day Carl noticed a hole in the snow, got curious and dug up what should have been a couple of golden loaves.

That wonderful man threw it back and never mentioned it to anyone. Greater love hath no man than he knows when to keep his mouth shut about his wife’s shortcomings.

BUTTON, BUTTON

I bought a card of red buttons to sew on a dress for Judy [her oldest daughter and Dave’s mom], intending to sew them on after Billy’s nap. When I put him in his crib, he apparently reached over and grabbed the buttons but I didn’t notice. After his nap I found the empty card in his crib, and realized that he must have swallowed each and every one.

I called Dr. Baumgartner and he calmed me down. His advice was to give him a big dose of Castoria (a baby laxative) and wait for the results. The next day I retrieved all ten of the buttons, washed and boiled them and strung them on a thread.

I teased Judy by telling her I was going to sew them on her dress anyway, and years later I told Bill that I was going to give them to his bride on his wedding day. Do you suppose that is why he’s still a bachelor? They are still in my cedar chest.