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Boobs

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For some bizarre reason, on my way home from work today I found myself musing about boobs. Maybe it's the heat and humidity. Anyway, I started thinking about men and their fascination with women's tits.

I started wondering. Why do some men have an obsession with big boobs? Were they bottle-fed as babies and never got over the disappointment? Or were they breastfed too long and developed an obsession?

Then, what about men who like flat-chested women. Some men seem to prefer women with very boyish figures. Are they closet homosexuals? Secret pedophiles? Now, before anyone takes offense, I'm just musing. Many men are decent and are attracted to women for their personalities and not just their bodies. But, how do you tell for sure?

If they are an overall nice guy and behave normally, then they're probably not pedophiles or gay. But, there are probably some warning signs to look out for.

So, if you have a flat chest and you want to know if your boyfriend/husband is in love with you for your mind or if he's a secret pedophile or homosexual...take this little test to ease your mind. (This is satire, folks....don't take it too seriously!)

1. Does he insist on only having sex doggy-style?
2. Does he prefer anal sex over vaginal?
3. Does he insist that you call him "Daddy" during sex?
4. Does he insist that you call him "Daddy" all the time?
5. Does he insist that you keep your hair cut short?
6. Does he complain if you wear makeup?
7. Does he prefer you in jeans and t-shirts over more feminine attire?
8. Have you ever caught him looking at gay or child porn?
9. Is the dog (or cat) afraid of him?
10. Does he dress up in women's clothing?

Ok...if you answered yes to more than 3 of these, you probably have a closet homosexual or pedophile on your hands.

If you answered yes to only numbers one and two...he's just kinky, don't worry about it!

If you answered yes to 8 and/or 10...you already knew the answer and didn't need the test!

If you answered yes to number 9....that's just gross! Dump him now!

If you only answered yes to numbers 1-3...he's probably ok, but keep an eye on him.

Ok, if you're offended by this...get a sense of humor, already! This was in fun. Although if you really did answer yes to most of them, you probably do have a problem!

I have nothing against flat-chested women...some of my closest friends are flat. Hey, we big-busted women have our own set of problems, believe it or not. But, that's for another day.