Straight No Chaser

Victory Shall Be Yours

dear participants,

i started this contest, and i'm not being scored for my entry, so i'm under no pressure to actually interest or entertain you, with this entry.

that's a nice feeling.

but i will tell you this: i'm looking forward to this contest, because i like to read, i like to write, i like to socialize and i like to play--passions that, i'm sure, many of you share--and this is an opportunity to do all four.

also--and here i'm going to admit that this was actually thirty percent or so of my reason for starting this contest--i think this'll be a great chance to inspire some of your best, and worst.

of my twenty darling entrants, there are exactly six with whose writing i am completely unfamiliar.

of the rest of you, i find your writing addictive, heartwarming, rich, inspiring, preternatural, multidimensional, hilarious, sweet, simple, fresh, cleansing, near-perfect and stimulating, in some order (one primary adjective per). [entrant], i check your journal every time i sit down, even if it doesn't show updates, just to be sure i haven't missed anything. [entrant], i read your entire journal (over three hundred entries) in a single sitting, and never got bored. [entrant], you have made me laugh every day for nearly a year. (all true, and specific, anecdotes).

on the other hand, i also occasionally find you exhibitionistic, depressing, repetitive, pedantic, overrated, dysfunctional, mean, boring, puerile, stunted, stupid, naive and ignorant, in some order. you make me roll my eyes, you make me furious, you make me glad i've got intelligent people in my life to outbalance your influence.

but you know what? i love it. i love it. i laugh, i scream. it feels good.

i'm only human. sometimes reading your journals feels like a warm hand on my shoulder; other times, it feels like a hairy finger down my throat.

which'll it be this time? totally up to you. may the best man, or woman, win.

aware that this'll be a difficult entry to respond to, but sure you can do it anyway,

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