Straight No Chaser

Alan and Annica

i bought the new version of the sims, because i am obsessive and an introvert and not entirely grown up yet.

i could be really obnoxious and turn this journal into a summer-long chronicle of my sim families' lives and pursuits. i could tell you things that i, at least, find wildly interesting, like how michael and naima slaughter, having hoped and prayed for some sweet relief after raising two rambunctious boys, finally got their baby girl. naima, at least, is happy. michael is kind of a bitch about these things. he had sort of a nervous breakdown when the oldest boy, eja, was born, and then again when eja and kyle started school, because he'd just lost his job and was probably feeling a little emasculated. simone should help change that, eventually; she'll need someone to stay home with her till she grows up anyway, which will hopefully give michael's slacker ass some sense of purpose, plus they will save over a hundred dollars a day on nanny fees. which will make eja happy. i'm sure he was sick of turning over all the paychecks from his shitty little after-school nursing home job.

or i could talk about justin and chloe cox, the pretty white-bread couple with the scandinavian features and the upturned noses, whose house, jobs, children are absolutely perfect. soft pink carpeting and a colonial double bed with pink comforter and accents to match. they have an upstairs, GASP, something no one else in town does, yet, and the children are blonde like their parents, and perfect. trevor snuck out once, one night, and never again, and he helps with the little ones' homework, makes dinner sometimes. matthew cleans up after himself without being asked and never splashes in a puddle of anyone else's pee. lorelei was sort of wunderkindish as a toddler (the only one chloe successfully potty-trained) and is now more normal, but adorable in her denim jumpsuit. the coxes are perfect, as all blonde white people by definition are.

i could tell you every time sivan kennedy breaks down and gets a visit from the therapist, to whom i'd imagine she complains mightily about being forced to have the second baby. (i was really sorry about that, i knew procreation wasn't on her aspiration list or her husband's [why the hell can't i remember his name all of a sudden?], but little kiran was lonely, needed a brother or sister, and also they're the only really financially stable family in town; it would have been a waste otherwise.

or about jonathan and riordan greer, the only interracial couple in town, whose lives suck, currently. jonathan is unemployed and riordan is underemployed and they've got the biggest accidental mansion ever, because i didn't realized the camera was zoomed out when i started putting up the walls. there is no carpet or flooring in any of the rooms, and the bathroom, which sees the most water from the flooding and leaky shower, is full of weeds. no refrigerator, which means they're still ordering pizza every day, even on riordan's pittance of a daily salary. basically they are pulling forty dollars, per pizza, out of their collective ass, and then keeping/eating leftover slices long after they've turned to toxic waste. vermin everywhere. jonathan won't get a job because he's always in too bad a mood to pick up the paper. i meant for riordan to be really pretty, a trophy wife, but then i couldn't resist giving her red hair to go with her bright green eyes, and suddenly she was all washed out. hideous. their kids, who unlike the cox kids (who, remember, are living in sort of a dollanganger situation) will be an exciting surprise, could go either way. too pale or too orange. strangely straight hair or funky naps. maybe a boy with green eyes and a red afro. i meant for the greers to have good lives. it's the size of the house causing all the problems, because they can't get ahead on their bills to save their jungle-fevered lives.

alan and annica chesney are the golden couple, though having that sixth baby was probably a mistake. there are seven beds--one double--all crowded into the master bedroom, and you can hardly turn around, in there, without stepping in someone's pee or trash or spit-up. the kids are numerous, but well-behaved. ashton is excelling. aidan and annabelle, the twins, are rambunctious and twinnish. alana hogs the swings. ariele only gets in the way of everything because she's learning to walk. angelique cries a lot.

it is, and i'm not exaggerating, the best game ever created. which shouldn't be surprising; i am a storyteller, a storylover. i could seriously go on and on and on, all summer.

but i won't.