Catching Idle Butterflies

What's up

Having relatives visit, especially parents is always stressful.

But this trip was less stressful then I anticipated, and I have my sister to thank.

My parents called to let us know when they planned to arrive and after my mom talked to me, Tom got on the phone to ask me questions about North Dakota, what jobs were like up there, etc. Then he vented his frustrations about why Mom wants to move up here.

I had no clue as to her reasons except perhaps to be closer to me.

So those two still aren't talking like they should. I thought about it later and wished I had told Tom that if he wanted to know Mom's reasons, he should ask her.

I wrote Margaret expressing as much, and that I do not want to be put in the middle of whatever problems they're having.

She then sent me back an email saying that next time Tom asks me something to say back, "Ask Mom, keep me out of this."

Their second day here, we drove out to the property. Mom had the option of two different lots, and an arguement ensued between them about which ones to choose.

Dave, God love him, told Mom after she got defensive about it saying, "It's your money, your decision. We're just giving you our opinions."

After a while, Mom made her decision and everyone was happy.

Or so I thought.

Tom and Dave talked outside while Dave cooked bratwurst (or brats as we call them), and Mom and I talked upstairs.

Rufus needed to go outside, so I took her down to Dave and Tom.

Tom then approaches me with a small pad of paper and a sketch that I knew to be Mom’s property and the location of her new house.

“We could use your help convincing Mom to move the house and dig a walk-out basement,” he said.

I backed away and held my hands up saying, “I’m sorry, Tom. But I can’t do that. I won’t be the mediator between you two. Besides, Mom and I are exactly alike. She will only get on the defensive if two or three of us approach her with this idea. I know I get defensive when two or three people do that to me. I appreciate it more when Dave tells me something when we’re alone. I don’t feel like I’m being attacked. I suggest you tell your idea to Mom tonight after you go to your motel room.”

For a second Tom only stared at me. Then he nodded and said, “I can understand. I’ll do that.”

Whether or not he did, I don’t know. Mom said nothing to me the next day when she and I were perusing furniture stores.

Either way, I’m just glad I didn’t get involved.

Thank you, Margaret, for your advice! I wouldn’t have even thought to tell Tom no otherwise.

I am proud of myself in other ways while they were here. I didn’t allow my mom to intimidate me. She tends to preach, and while I remained silent as I normally do, I didn’t take her words personally, as though she was judging me and telling me what to do or what not to do. I know she’s only trying to do right by me. It’s only her way of letting me how much she loves and cares about me.

I even practiced my new goal of not hiding so much. I even confessed to her that I do tend to hide my feelings and other things, but I’m working toward doing less of that. I showed her several of my publication journal entries as well as my latest blog entries.

She loved my cigarette entry and how hard she laughed at it took me by surprise. I knew it was funny, but not that funny. Mom then went on to say, “You’re very funny. You should definitely try putting that in your writing. I think you could write some killer dialogue.”

I’ll take any praise, especially from my mother, but I’ll admit attempting writing humorous stories or dialogue scares me. Given a choice, I’d rather tackle writing a first person novel on a sadistic serial killer.

I did disappoint myself once. Mom asked me if Protestants believe in confession. I stumbled through my answer, basically saying not in the sense Catholics do. We don’t go through a priest to confess our sins, but confess them to Jesus.

I should have added many Protestants encourage open confession to those we’ve wronged among others, but oh, well. I’m sure I’ll get other opportunities. Religion is as important to her as living “God’s Way” is to me. She brought up the subject many times while she was here. I didn’t mind at all. She never once “attacked” my beliefs, but asked me intelligent and probing questions in order to learn. She never once mocked me.

I think when she moves up here, as sharp as she is, learning how to talk to her with clarity and intelligence about my faith will only help me to do the same with others, and no longer be afraid to do so. Like most people I know, she approaches her faith intellectually, not spiritually or emotionally. Me, I tend more toward the spiritual and emotional path. Learning how to talk about God intellectually will be quite a challenge, but a challenge I’m looking forward to.

But now, I need to concentrate on perhaps getting at least closer to my goal of 10k words for March Novel Writing Month which for the last three weeks I’ve all but given up on (puppies are so much work!!). I’ve written maybe 4k, so I have a ways to go yet. I don’t anticipate 10k, but close to 5k would be nice. Even if I don’t make it, 5k words still isn’t bad. I started a story that otherwise would not have been, and that’s what counts.

I also thought about using that story to write a 2 page plot synopsis for my Christian Writer’s Guild lesson (#48! Two more after this and I’m done!!), but I’ve written three and a half so far and I’m not halfway through the story. So instead, I may “cheat” and use my synopsis for a novellla I wrote.