Zee Blog

A New Day

Last night was a trying evening.

When I got home last night I talked with April online for a bit. I told her that I would be sending the rest of her stuff with Shauna. I told her that I loved her, will always love her, and that I hope she continues to move in a positive direction with her life.

Shauntae was the hard one to talk with. She sent me an e-mail at around two in the morning. I was up because I couldn't sleep and she sent me quite possibly one of the nicest things I have ever read. She said she couldn't believe what she had done, how she wished that I would have come upstairs after April told her and just beat the hell out of her so that I could stop hurting. She said my kindness was the last thing she expected. In closing she said that she thought I was quite possibly the most amazing male she had ever met, and that she hated to think that she lost me because of her actions.

I simply wrote her back and told her she wasn't a bad person, and that I could understand why she would want to do what she did: April is an amazing girl with amazing potential. I told her that I couldn't be her friend though because I was just hurt too much this week, betrayed once too often, and left to bleed for too long.

I turned a moment of pain and suffering into something of good, and today I feel really proud of myself even if I wish this pain in my chest would go away.

I would like to thank Shattered Angel for her nomination. When I get home I'm going to make sure to put this in my sig.