Our Fibromyalgia Blog Book

The pain keeps going, and going, and ...

         I'm finally back again. Busy week or so. And the fibro didn't help matters.
         For a couple weeks now, since the surgery on my neck, I haven't been able to take the Neproxen I usually do for the worst pains, or the Nortriptylene I take at night to relax muscles etc. so I'm able to sleep more easily. The Vicotin I can take in the meantime I can only use at night because it makes me too drowsy. And these restrictions have been showing.
         My legs have bothered me just about every day, and I've even had a stabbing pain in my foot a couple times in the last few days.
         Kenzie's been feeling things even worse in this time frame. Her back aching almost every day, her stomach not seeming much better, though she's been able to get past that to get some sleep. Then there's her right hip and bad left knee. They haven't quit either.
         But the toughest part for her has been the fatigue. When our bodies fight all that pain, it costs us energy. Kenzie noticed that when she has a pretty physical day working around here, then gets VERY irritated or upset at something that happens after that, the combination really saps her energy. That's when she asked me if I thought that getting that emotionally upset could drain the energy, and I said, "Sure it can. Because your metabolism is racing, your heartbeat is faster, everything about your body is going high speed, and that is costing energy." That made sense. And she ended up falling asleep about 7:30 that evening and sleeping till almost 11:00, then coming back to bed again about 12:30 AM for the night. And getting a splitting headache on top of everything else didn't help.
         Finally last night, when she did come back to bed, I went to hug her and after only momentary contact, she said, "Don't touch me". I knew what she meant. She wasn't mad at me or anything, but she WAS mad that her skin was so darn sensitive again that any contact was very painful. She hadn't known it till I touched her, and the element of surprise had startled her. What I had heard was merely her reaction to finding that out "the hard way". And she immediately apologized, realizing the way it MIGHT have been taken, and said calmly, "I didn't mean it that way." I assured her I knew exactly what she meant, and that I understood perfectly. It's hell for both of us when we can't hug, but this is also an excellent example of why Kenzie and I both agree that we're glad we're going through this together. Neither one of us has to worry about whether our spouse truly understands things like not being able to hug. That that hugging problem is not because we're upset but because our partner's skin actually hurts to the touch. Try and explain THAT to a wife or husband who does NOT have Fibro. You'll never figure out a way to do it. Because they have no concept of that kind of pain. So I smiled, got up out of bed, walked around to her side of the bed so she didn't have to turn over to face me, and we shared a wonderful kiss. Then I went back to my side, climbed into bed and we said our "I love you"s and went to sleep.
         She's feeling it again tonight, and it's only 6 PM but we'll see what happens. My legs are killing me already too. And the weather change doesn't help. Now we're getting a mix of rain and snow, so the cold, damp air is going to play games with our pains as well. I'll let you all know how that affects us tomorrow.