Break the Cycle

Trigger: Mixed Emotions

Though adding other emotions when I'm angry might be considered more of a factor than a trigger, I list it as a trigger. Why? When other emotions course through me and coincide with anger, it's very difficult to clamp down on the psychosomatic reactions I tend to experience. There are even rare cases in which another emotion has triggered my anger. As far as the emotions experienced alongside anger go, they run the gamut from motivation to fix something to lamenting shit over which I have no control. This trigger is quite rare for me, as my anger is somewhat focused on one person or situation 90% of the time. Oddly enough, though, this trigger always happens after I attend class; the subject doesn't matter, although literature and history classes tend to be biggies.

I'm not sure what to do about this trigger, though, since it usually proceeds deep thought. Thing is, thinking deep is something I enjoy doing, and I consider not thinking deep at least once a day to be a criminal offense. Those who read my journal tend to see this more than others who aren't so privy to my inner thoughts. Sometimes, I don't always have immediate access to my journal, and I have discovered jotting my opinions on paper to be a rather dangerous action. So, it gets cluttered in my head, and after a while, it boils something wicked. The solution to this trigger is easy...but not. When I can't get to my journal, I'm adrift and at the whim of my emotions, physically and mentally. I have started sketching bad cartoons (as in bad quality) to purge my anger. It has worked to an extent, but it mostly serves as a temporary tranquilizer. Thing is, this trigger is so rare, and until today, it never really flared up to the point where one writing wasn't enough to purge it.