Bloggin' Umholtz

Is Home Surgery anything like Home Schooling?

         Today I go to Allegheny General hospital in Pittsburgh to be poked and prodded by specialists in making people lose their balance and throw up. Lucky me.

         I’m hoping they can figure something out for if the truth were known I’ve contemplated home surgery on the offending ear with my Black & Decker 3/8 inch variable speed drill. (Insert Tim the Tool Man grunts here).

         Shades of Vincent Van Gogh!

         It’s funny how our minds and bodies work sometimes. I’ve been on this essentially salt free diet for almost two months now and I marvel at how I react to food. I eat a piece of unseasoned grilled chicken and I can taste the natural saltiness of it. I wonder why Ii ever sslted chicken in the first place. On the other hand, when my son brings home Kentucky Fried Chicken, I go near crazy with desire to eat it, even though I know it’s loaded with salt, and even though I might have only eaten KFC one or two times a year in the past.

         If I order a hamburger at a restaurant and they serve it with chips, I will resist, mostly. I usually eat one chip. But where in the past, I would gobble whole handfuls of chips in anticipation of the next handful, I place the single chip on my tongue, like a communion wafer. I then thoroughly suck every last morsel of salt from it, savoring the taste and letting the chip gently dissolve in my mouth.

         The mind works in funny ways. Then again, as my son would quickly add, “Yes, and it’s a shame yours doesn’t work at all.”

         Where’s that drill? I'm thinking frontal lobotomy should cure him.

         Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

         Wish me luck.