Warmness of the Soul

Everything you dont know is right..

Everything she says about me, how great I am, etc.. I swear its all wrong.

I don't look that good. Im not always the nicest person, I could be more loving. I could be more open, I could be less confusing but probably never going to happen. I could be a much better man that she really deserves but all I can do is try. She deserves the best of everything, somethings I just dont feel Im always that great at. But to look at the bright side, She did choose me and I'm never going to let her go.

I have never been afraid of commitment, but my downfall is that ive been too into commitment, and emotion, and love, and being the "nice guy" that finishes last and gets treated like shit. I've changed alot over the years and a hell of alot in the past couple recent ones. Now dont get me wrong, I'm still the same person as in personality, but I have matured an extreme amount in recent times. I guess all the times I've screwed up has kinda helped that along.. I don't wonder anymore if I'm good enough for her though cause if I wasn't then she wouldnt have picked me or wanted to stick with me.

I'm a very hard person to deal with, probably more so than most in the world as she well knows by now. I've put her through alot of shit just with the way i deal with emotions because of my past.. which I will get into in a later journal so people will know what i mean when I say this.. But she is amazing simply because she continues to put up with me although im getting better at least.. well with her. lol..

This specific "book" journal, whatever that im going to make entries in will have in some way to do with her, or at least have her mentioned in all of the journals.. I dont write much but I did this for her cause I know she likes to read anything I write and I've never really done a journal so I figured I'd start. She deserves the world in which I only hope I'll be able to give her to my expectations that I think she deserves one day.. To you my love

~later days~