Straight No Chaser

My Shirt Is Glittery

he noticed that first, and then laughed at the irony, at how only i would take the cuteness of a glittery shirt and subtle it down by choosing the one in gray. i told him there's a pink one, too, as-yet-unpacked. which made him happy.

tonight wasn't a good night for us to try to catch up, because we've both got class in the morning and i still had a roommate to meet, plus he hadn't even set foot in his dorm, but he brought my suitcase in, pointed out that i let the plant die (oops, i meant to find a sitter for the month of december but forgot) and tried to, i guess, make me smile, because i wasn't. i said no new year's kiss till we had time to enjoy it, not till after he gave me my christmas present, to keep things chronological. he said, hug then? i said that was okay. we hugged, he proceeded to kiss me (cheater), i backed off and said tomorrow. make actual time for me and then we will. we'll get dinner and talk and we'll trade christmas gifts. it'll be nice. general agreement all around. we finished kissing first; he wanted to do more and i impressed myself tremendously by resisting. and then we hugged again and he left. and so. tomorrow will be nice, in theory.

and maybe he'll call tonight, after he finishes with courtney and before he goes to bed. that would be a nice finish to a roller coaster of a day. i was crying into my pajama collar at one point. lunatically giddy at another. my roommate is nice. my tv is broken. my room is (temporarily) clean. my eyes hurt like the devil. it would not be difficult to run a deconstructionist analysis of my life, right now.

the roommate is also very christian, and, apparently, kind of nosy. while i was out wishing krystle and od a happy new year, she was here checking out my stuff, laying claims to the joel osteen book on my shelf whose cover i have not even cracked. she asked about it when i got back. now it's on her desk, where it belongs. she's seen marcus's picture and been warned, he might come over sometimes, and occasionally, we might ask that you...i cut myself off there, the same way i did with melony. i will never be comfortable dismissing one human for private time with another. and she didn't get my drift, fortunately, or unfortunately, as it may be. we'll see how it goes. but she's a nice girl.

and he's a nice boy. and i don't mean boy in the derogatory sense that he hates. i just mean, i saw him across the baggage claim, long-sleeved blue tee that i've never seen before but that shaped his tummy into the tummy i loved at first, and he looked handsome and sleepy and ready to see me and my heart lifted a little and i thought, there he is. there's my boy.

and, foolish thing that i am, i can't remember why i was mad.