Time To Get Real

This is even more offensive than my previous posts...

When is Jesus coming back?

That sounds a little random-but look who you're talking to-so let me back up and explain why I say that.

This is the number one reason people decide to be Christians. Jesus is going to come down in the clouds o' glory and take us to heaven and throw Satan in hell and everything's going to be okay(Either that or they're afraid of hell, but I'll get to that in another post).

I mean, if Jesus isn't coming back, there would be no reason to believe in Jesus's miracles, or any of his teachings. Then Jesus was never real to begin with, or in the least not divine if you're a Christian.

To quote this accurately, I have to give the background on the whole 21st chapter of Luke. The chapter begins with the famous story of the poor widow who gives her last two mites to the temple treasury, and how Jesus states her money is worth more than the others who have offered more money because she gave all that she had to give. All that takes place in verses 1-4.

Then Jesus overhears people(it isn't made clear who they are) speaking about the treasures and adornments on and in the temple, and Jesus says that it won't be long before all the stones in the temple are thrown down(Basically he's predicting that the temple will be destroyed. Don't take my word for it, ask your pastor or bishop or whatever). His disciples(who are with him) ask him not only when the temple is going to be destroyed, but for specific signs of when this is going to happen. Jesus goes on to list various signs: wars, pestilence, earthquakes, and persecutions against his followers. Lots of stuff that I'm not going to name here. This is what happens in verses 5-26.

I know. You're bored that I'm not being very entertaining today, but if you hang on for one more second, I'll prove my point.

In 26-31, Jesus tells everyone he's going to come down in the clouds o' glory and make everything okay. He gives a little parable about a fig tree coming into to season in the summertime and compares it to his "Second Coming".

Then he says something that most Christians iqnore out of either embarressment or ignorance.

KJV: "Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled."

Here's the NIV version for all of you unfamiliar with big words like "Verily": "I tell you the truth, this generation[b] will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened."

I'm not misquoting. Jesus himself said it. He said before everyone in his generation died, he'd be back. Coming in the clouds o' glory!

*Looking at my watch*

He's about 2000 years late! Doesn't that bother any Christians out there? I mean, he gave a timetable and everything.

So...does this mean that God is falliable? Or that at least Jesus is? Maybe Jesus was playing a joke on his disciples, like parents do when they tell their children that Santa Claus won't give them presents if they're not good(bad kids get the most presents, everyone knows that).

Verse 36 certainly sounds like it: KJV: "Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man."

NIV version: "Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."

It sure sounds like it!

It seems kind of rude of him to play the ultimate Punk'D joke on all you Christians. Maybe he's up in heaven right now, laughing at you guys until you get the joke and he comes down in his clouds o' glory and all.

Or maybe the whole thing with him being God-made-flesh wasn't exactly accurate. When you're God's son you're not supposed to make false predictions. That's the sign of a false prophet.

You're free to draw your own conclusions. But it would be funny if Jesus Punk'D you guys.