Michelle's Blog, Blog, Blog

Is This A New Year For You?

It is for me! It has to be. Usually I let the New Year pass without much thought. To me, if I feel I need to make a change in my life I'm more apt to do it at any time during the year and why make a commitment for the sake of making a commitment and be setup to fail. I know this is not necessarily the way it happens all the time but that was my thought. This year however, I am taking time to make it a new and better year. I'm desperately trying to get a direct hire or more permanent job. My contract expires 2/15/2006 which is a constant distraction and source of anxiety for me now. I am taking steps to unclutter my desk, my mind and my life so I can breathe which means being more organized and not letting things get so bad that I feel utter hopelessness and a fear that nearly paralyzes me.
I will do something every week to make my husband, Sean's life better. He does so much for me from having my coffee waiting for me in the bathroom when I wake up to cooking me dinner every night. He starts my car every morning in the winter and helps me get my things to the car. He makes the bed while I am getting ready for work. He knows when something is bothering me and listens and consoles me. He holds me when I need a hug and stops whatever he is doing to focus only on me. He opens doors for me and when he puts his hand against the small of my back, in his gentleness, I feel a secure sense that he loves me completely. I am fiercely independent and need a strong personality to balance with and lean on when I'm weak. He is my best friend.
I will be more giving and help others less fortunate. I'm sure I will slip now and again but I will whine less about my problems and open up to others. I've found that when I help someone else out, a friend, family or stranger that it takes some of the burden off what I'm feeling about my problems. And there are worse things and situations I could be in and I am thankful for all that I have. I have been blessed with family and friends that care about me and my family. Those ties are a constant source of strength. I will listen more. I will do more. I will take care of my well-being as I cannot help others if I am not the best I can be. I will love more and be less selfish. I will make sure my family always knows that they mean the world to me and I cannot live without them. I will wear my "good" panties that are in the back of my drawer and I will take the time to enjoy the sun, wind, trees and all the little miracles that happen every day like my daughter's giggle. I will smile more and frown less because smiles are contagious and they just make ya feel good. :)
Seems like a tall order but I know once I start, the rest will fall into place. It has to be a better year because I am a better me.
And I'm writing more!
Cheers and here's hoping this is a better year for everyone!