Straight No Chaser

Ergh

tonight i have to spend a couple of hours with someone who, over a prolonged period of time, used to hurt me very deeply. in more ways than one.

it's not a good idea. it's already late, i want to watch conan and i'm soooo tired...am barely holding my head up as it is, and i owe marcus much better conversation than what he got last night. (not because i used up all my chatter for the night, but because he called circa four forty-five, an ungodly hour at which most sane humans have been asleep for hours. but still.)

and i don't feel like explaining myself to my dad, who will work himself up into a massive lather if i tell him i'm going back out. my godmother had this dinner tonight, for me and chad and all the other kids she's been close to over the years--we're pretty much all college-age, or recent graduates, except for chad who will be in college later this year--and one of the things we talked about was how difficult it is, transitioning back and forth between school life and home life; relative independence for a few months and then parents breathing down your neck about every little thing, so that you genuinely wonder--who is doing the dishes/cleaning the birdcage/plucking the boll weevils while i'm gone, since apparently i'm the only one capable when i'm here?

anyway, we didn't reach a satisfactory conclusion. we stopped and played taboo. girls won, seventy-three to sixty-five.

but i digress. what's important is that i'm about to go on a perfectly idiotic adventure, and if, during the course of the evening, i were to wind up in a hospital somewhere with another purple skinflower or even a snapped wrist, it would be no one's fault but my own, for being idiotic and doing this when i know i shouldn't. and i don't even have any mace, which is the obvious suggestion that i therefore have to keep ignoring.

hence the descriptive entry title. it's what i keep saying to myself, every time i look at the clock.

ergh.