Time To Get Real

New Years Resolution(s)

My New Year's Resolution is to stop killing.

You heard me.

I need to stop killing my relationships with my family and friends, and I need to stop killing myself with self-hatred and loathing.

But that would mean I would no longer be able to write such wonderful stories full of hope. All my energy would go into making a "real" life for myself in the "real" world with pretty colors...and laughter...and anonymous sex with a guy just drunk enough to pleasure under the table in my local Applebee's.

*sniffle*

Who am I kidding? The last time I gave someone hope I gave a blind person directions to a building that had been demolished ten years before. That's right. It was the 12-coal-miners-reported-to-be-alive-when-they-had-really-died kind of hope. Not the good kind of hope.

And I couldn't get a guy to please me under the table at Applebee's even if I wanted to. Applebee's doesn't have long tablecloths. Red Lobster does though.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, leaving my stories behind to start growing up and taking responsibilities for my actions. After all, that's what George W. Bush did when he sent a few hundred thousand troops to war under the impression that Suddam Hussein had Weapons Of Mass Destruction. And of course Laurence Taylor came clean after years of substance abuse. And somewhere...out there...Courtney Love is taking responsibility for her actions by apologizing for flashing a random stranger.

I take my New Year's Resolution back. I'll change when all the evil people in the world aren't laughing all the way to the bank for their crimes.

Who am I kidding? I'm not going to change. What you read about me is basically what I am. If I have to change to have "good taste", "manners", and a "conscience" so people can like me, then fuck those kinds of people.

And fuck New Years.

But on the real though---> check out Boondocks on Adult Swim. Here's the link: http://www.adultswim.com/shows/boondocks/index.html