I Was Free Once

Chapter 16

As I traveled through the many hallways and staircases leading out from that dungeon, I began thinking about the prophecy my father had spoken of and what I should do. I knew I couldn’t choose the angel side with the guilt of Sal’s murder weighing heavily upon me.

I can choose any race to live until the end of time, I thought to myself. What race is left? I can’t choose angel and I don’t want to choose demon. All the while I was thinking, I made my way out of the edifice, which would forever remain a prison in my mind. By the time I finally exited the building, I knew what I was going to do to ensure that the prophecy be fulfilled.

The moon shone brightly outside, lighting up the snow-covered ground. The sky was clear of clouds, yet no stars could be seen, as if they had died that night too. I looked around to find Julia standing under the nearest tree, waiting for me.

I walked over to her and held her in my free arm. She cried on my shoulder for a minute or so, and then without any spoken words she formed a hole in the ground in which I placed Sal’s body. With a wave of her hand, the hole was filled again.

Rest in peace, Sal.

I picked up Julia and began to fly. She fell asleep in my arms. At daybreak, I landed outside of Sal’s house. I walked to the room I spent two weeks in recovering from the dagger and placed Julia on the cot. I covered her up and sat across the room waiting for her to wake up.

It seemed like days before she awoke. Maybe it had been. I didn’t know; I lost all track of time after Sal’s death. While she was still sleeping, the guilt of murdering Sal became worse with every second that passed. I quietly cried and returned to my human form. It was too much to bear seeing myself as the thing that had killed my uncle.

When Julia arose, I walked over to the cot and sat with her. She looked extremely confused as to where she was. Before she could speak, I held her in my arms.

“It’s okay, Julia,” I whispered, as I held her. “I brought you here to rest.”

“But, where are we?” she asked in reply. I stopped holding her, but instead stood up with her.

“Sal’s house. I thought it best we stay here.” She nodded in agreement.

“Darien, I—I miss him. He took me in and cared for me. I wish I could have stopped myself from keeping watch of him. I feel like it’s my fault he was taken.” Her eyes began to well up. “I didn’t even see him die, but I still cry thinking about his body just lying there…” Tears fell down her cheeks. “That bastard killed Sal without a second thought. I’m glad he’s dead…”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her then that I had murdered him.

“Julia, why don’t you take a shower and try to clear your mind of some of the trauma. C’mon, you’ll be glad you did.” After showing her to the shower, I looked around the house for some clothes for Julia. After finding a pair of brown shorts and a wife beater, I went to the kitchen to try and clean up some of the blood that had been shed in the kitchen earlier.

I got as far as burying the dog Julia’s soul had been inside for the past few years and placing the table upright again, when I heard her exit the bathroom. Not wanting her to see another gory scene, I rushed down the hall to prevent her from entering the kitchen. She had a towel wrapped around her, not looking much better. I led her back to the room with the cot and handed her the clothes I had found.

“It’s all I could find for now. I just wanted to give you some clothes.” She gave a small smile and began to dress.

“It’s fine, sweetie. I could care less about what I wear.” She had finished dressing and yet, somehow, she still looked beautiful. I walked over to her and deeply kissed her.

“I love you.” Her sleek black hair fell in front of her piercing blue eyes.

“I love you, too.” I gently placed my hand over her eyes, putting her under a sleeping spell until I could finish cleaning the kitchen. She fell into my arms and I placed her upon the cot to sleep.

The cleaning took days. All the while, she slept. I, on the other hand, got very little sleep and when I did, nightmares of the past came rushing back to me. I would wake screaming sometimes, drenched in a cold sweat. Even though my father was dead, the pain he had caused me never left.

When I was finally done cleaning up the blood in the kitchen, I went to lift the sleeping spell from Julia. I kissed her, feeling her body spring to life again. She knew as soon as she awoke, that she had been sleeping for quite some time.

“Darien, why did you put a sleeping spell on me?” she asked, a little nettled. “You know I hate the feeling of being helpless and vulnerable.”

“You needed to rest,” I tried to tell her.

“But, I had just slept shortly before. Tell me the truth.” I hesitated before answering her.

“I needed to do a little work around the house to make sure it was safe—”

“Safe?” she interrupted. “Darien, I am just as able to defend myself as you are.” She looked at me with a little resent in her eyes.

“I just didn’t think you should see the kitchen in such a gory state as it was in,” I replied. “That’s all.”

“Well, I appreciate the thought, but from now on, please no more sleeping spells.” I nodded, beginning to lead her out of the room towards the kitchen.

“Let’s have some coffee,” I said, as we exited the hallway. She smiled and sat down. While the coffee was brewing, I seized the opportunity to ask her a question that had been bothering me. “Julia, do you remember what you said when your soul was first returned to your body?”

“You mean, when I thought you were him?”

“Yeah, you know, about some deal. What deal was that?”

“Oh that,” she replied, looking towards the ground. “I don’t think it’s such a good idea to talk about it right now…” She got up to go pour the coffee. I stopped her as she reached the counter.

“No, I think this is a very good time to talk about it.” I turned her so I could look into her eyes. “Why were you making a deal with my father? How did you even know him? I took such measures to hide that part of me from you.” Tears began to well up in her eyes.

“Please, Darien—I’m so sorry—I—I had no choice…”

“But, Julia, you did! Didn’t you ever learn not to make a deal with a demon?”

“Yes, I did, but I couldn’t help it. He showed up at the house the one night, shortly before that day in the park. He was originally planning to kill you that day. He manipulated my words and made it sound like I would be guilty for your death, if I didn’t stop it from happening.” Frustrated, I started pacing in the kitchen.

“Julia, didn’t you know that I would have rather died for you than save myself?!”

“I knew that, but I thought I could prevent it all together. So, I told him I’d do anything to prevent it. He smiled and told me as long as my soul was separate from my body, he wouldn’t kill you.”

Coming to a horrible realization, I asked, “So what really happened in the park that day? All I saw was your body being torn apart.” She backed away, looking ashamed.

“That was staged. I was surprised you couldn’t feel the demons present that day… What you saw, Darien, was what your father wanted you to see. I never intended for him to break your pride. I was nervous and didn’t word the deal completely correct; I didn’t know how to deal with demons. All I said was that he wasn’t to kill you.” I turned from her and gave her a most threatening look.
“So for five years, I rotted in a fucking cell, because of your naivety?!” I yelled in outrage.

“I’m sorry…”

I said nothing in reply. There was an awkward silence between us, in which I filled a mug with coffee and sat down. She came over to me to hold my hand, but I simply finished my coffee and walked into the hallway.

“I need some alone time,” I shouted, as I strode towards the front door. “I’m not sure how long it’ll be until I come back. Don’t wait up for me.” And without looking back to see her expression, I left the house, unleashed my black wings and flew away as fast as I could.