The Life Of Me.

30th November 2005

If anybody is wondering why the sudden lack of blog posts...I guess it's because school is pretty shite at the moment. I had an amazing time in Paris. He almost ran off the plane...but we made it, and had a really, really good time. Didn't die in an riots either What's been happening since then...urm...went to Andi's gig last night. Gemma spoke to me...a little too much I guess...Was very strange. It's just how it starts again. Start talking sometimes, then start talking more...or I could be reading too much into it. I usually do. But she didn't have to talk to me, she actually came over to talk to me...meh. It's so confusing. It's hard to hate someone when they don't ignore you lol.

And Martin...I've seen him so much lately, I miss being able to miss him...because I know I'll always see him nearly every day. It kinda sucks ass. I guess it's my turn to get out the honey moon phase. You'd think it would have been sooner than nearly 8 months down the line lol. But nevermind. I like missing him...Not that it feels nice at the time, but it makes every moment I spend with him even more special. And it's not that I don't enjoy his company, I love being with him...just want some time to myself...and I need to get on top of my work.

I've been getting really upset about my work...I feel like I'm trying really hard in all my subjects, I always get my homework done, I always work hard in class...but still fucking teachers are giving me a "satisfactory" assessment. Even fucking Miss Pelican...I've done more work than anybody in the class, and I'm still on satisfactory, I'm in more than anyone else in the class, I just don't understand. I should be on "good"'s. Not fucking satisfactory's. And Spanish, I'm apparently working on a Grade C level. So really, I'm not going to get into Uni. I just wanna cry. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Why can't I just succeed like I usually do, I hate failing...I'm trying so hard Maybe they want more private study...revision...I don't know...but I ask for help from Miss P and she doesn't give it. It's fucking unacceptable that I'm getting satisfactory. That's going to go back to my mum and I'll get bollocked. Fucking stupid. I'm so pissed off.