A little something about nothing

Sleepless Night

Just when I thought things were starting to go well in my life I get hit head on with shocking news. Last night I didn't have to work my 2nd job, so I stopped by my brother's after work to order from Justin's school sale catalog. Gotta help my nephew with his first school sale so he can earn points and win his first prize...what can I say, I'm a sucker when it comes to the kid!

On my way home I call Mark to see if he has eaten or if he'd like me to pick him up something when I stopped for myself. Of course he hadn't eaten, so I brought dinner home. After eating he grabbed a beer and went to the back room. Earlier we had talked about watching the movie we rented on Sunday, but his actions made me realize he would not be joining me. It was only 7pm at that time so I decided I would wait until 9ish so I could watch it and go to bed. Around 7:45 he came back in the living room to let me know he wouldn't be watching the movie, but if I wanted to he would set it up for me...I'm not always the brightest when it comes to his dvd/stereo set-up; however, his last trip to Chicago I became good friends with the dvd player! I told him I had already figured he'd be playin' on his computer tonight and would watch it in a bit. He insisted that he wasn't playing he was doing research for work...whatever, I don't care, but he just couldn't take a joke about it. Then he told me he had two new goals I needed to be aware of. He was going back to school to finish his degree. I was a little surprised, but told him I thought it was a good idea. Then he told me that by July 2006 he will no longer be living in Michigan.

It took all my power to stay positive and act happy for him. I knew in the back of my head this day would eventually come, but to hear the actual words took my breath away. We talked a few more minutes about it and he let me know he'd probably be going to the Chicago area...in other words, to live with/by his sister. I told him that would happen when she first started looking for a house last year and he said it wouldn't. Mmmm, hmmm, no more arguing against a woman's intuition!!!

His sister called right at 8pm and he walked in the back to talk to her. I didn't know what to do with myself, but I knew I had to get away. I put on my shoes, grabbed my purse and got in my car. I had no destination in mind, but I needed to think and talk to my mom and brother...my logical thinkers that always calm my worried mind. Both reassured me and told me to think of the positve aspects of this change. My mind of course was thinking of how much debt I have, how little stuff I own, where would I be living, I'm losing one of my very good friends, etc.

When I returned home, which was about 45 minutes later, I decided to watch the movie to get my mind off things, while Mark stayed in the back room. That worked only for a little bit. At 10:30 Mark decided to go out. I thought this was odd as he had not been on the phone, he had already had 7 beers not to mention it is only Wednesday. I made an attempt to go to bed at 11ish, when the movie ended. By 1:30 a.m. my brain would not shut off. Mark was not home yet, so I figured he met a friend at a bar and would be on his way home. So me and my emotional, overthinking, over analyzing self sent him a text msg. Nothing major, just needed confirmation that things were okay and we were still friends. Yes, I realize I was over reacting, but hey...it was 1:30 in the morning! No response. I tossed and turned until 3:30...still not home and no response. I must have fell asleep for a bit, but woke up to the bathroom door shutting around 4:30 in the morning...he was finally home. Tell me something...where does a person go on a week night until 4 in the morning when our bars close at 2???

I guess my panicked desire to talk to him was because his sister will be coming to stay the weekend with us and she arrives tonight. I am working tonight so I won't really have a chance to talk to him before she gets there. However, with all the time I had to think I realized it really isn't something I need to concern myself with. Can't force a friendship and I need to be concerned with my own life and the changes that will be taking place in the very near future.