Zee Blog

The future...it's coming on, it's coming on...

So last night I finally had it out with my mom. Once and for all I just stood up to her and told her exactly how I felt about her drinking, and at least I'm making good on a promise I made to her when I was sixteen: partially.

I've had to tell her on three seperate occasions. When I was 16, 17, and 22. That promise was: "If you ever drink and treat me like that again you'll never hear from me again." Unfortunately, I can't quite fulfill the completion of that promise due to my financial situation, but I decided to make my steps in other ways.

Although it sucks, and I need to get another job, I told her I was no longer going to work for her. I told her also that we couldn't have a mother/son relationship until she decided to honestly get help. I told her she wasn't a bad person, but that she was sick.

She didn't like what I had to say. She said I was a traitor, a backstabber, that I was brain washed by my father, and that I had no idea as to how difficult it was for her to do it. I simply replied, "Do you know what it's like to see your mother dragged, kicking and screaming out of your house when you are only five?"

She was forced into a hospital stay rehab. Since then she hasn't received any help. As time marched on things only became worse for us. Eventually it became one of those relationships where she would keep my pacified by supplying me money, but after some big problems I couldn't stand for it anymore. Two weeks ago she left a message on my phone calling me a fucker. It was done.

I woke up feeling really good about myself. The thanks belongs to my father, though. We were talking about how all of this was hurting me, and for the first time in fifteen years I cried in front of my father. My father has always had an odd relationship because my mother practically brainwashed me to hate him when I was a child. We've always been at odds with one another, but over the past couple of years as I've grown a little older and more mature I've found that he is as good a man as they come.

Anyways, I lie. So much to you all. More drama seems to be brewing on the horizon. Jeff(see posts from about two weeks ago) called me and asked if he could come and talk to me. The ambassador from the planet Sheryl shall be ariving shortly. Ugh, that's not fair. I like Jeff. I just don't like the feeling of him being a puppet for the Queen.

Yargh! I'm such a dick sometimes.