The Life Of Me.

11th July 2005 - *burp*

Relationships. I don't think I'm very good at them. I'm not very good at having a life outside my boyfriend without feeling disconnected from them. I'm not very good at them having lives outside me, without feeling disconnected and unwanted. I need to learn how to cope with not spending all my time with him, having other stuff to do, and him having other stuff to do. Grrr at myself. I suck.

Still feel shitty. Got up late, well, got up on time and didn't bother to leave the house. Did about two lessons, before realising that I really wasn't well enough to be in school and went home. Went to sleep, got up, went to see Martin for 20 minutes before he went to work, then went home. Gave up my seat to an old lady on the bus, and felt proud...that was my good deed of the day I think everyone should do one good deed a day, at the very least. Pay It Forward. A good film. And a good philosophy for life. Even a smile at a stranger can lift someone's spirits, and usually your own. Did you know that smiling, even to yourself, releases like happy chemicals? I diiiiiiid. I like smiling. Cheers me up

Just phoned Mr Martin...miss him. Still don't think he's real lol. I swear it's all in me mind and every one is playing along because I'm really crazy, but nobody wants me to know. In reality, I wouldn't have someone as wonderfully perfect for me as my boyfriend. Just not how the world usually works for me. But I'm happy with a dream, as long as it lasts a good while. I've touched something magical with Martin...and that's good enough for me