Once Upon...

Jackson

No one felt much sympathy for her anymore. It was pity now. Naomi saw it in all of their faces whenever she went into town. She hated going into town and seeing every face filled with pity when they looked at her. She heard the whispers and the talk behind her back. They thought her parents' deaths had caused her mind to slip, that she was a little crazy. She didn't care. They could look, talk, gawk, whatever all they wanted. Nothing they said was new and nothing they said was true, so it didn't matter.

Though, the fact that she was thinking of it, meant that maybe it did. It would be time to go into town soon. Tomorrow or the day after, Naomi thought. She only went in town twice a month and she hated having to do it. She was beginning to give it serious thought to go to the neighboring town and do her shopping there.

It was getting tiresome that her whole life seemed to revolve around that one incident. Maybe I let it destroy me. She leaned against the railing of the back deck. The wind blew through her long dark hair. Sometimes, she could close her eyes and pretend that life was normal for a little while. Sighing, Naomi opened her eyes and realized that she needed more than a little while.

She could kid herself into thinking that it was their fault that the whole town thought she was crazy, but she knew it was her own fault. Being desperate did that to a person, Naomi mused as her German Shepard, Sam, walked out onto the deck. He walked over and laid down by her feet and closed his eyes. No, I did this to myself.

Secluding herself away had been the core of her existence for the last six years. Especially, especially, after she'd offered herself to the lead detective. Yes, she'd been desperate. Losing her parents, the way she'd lost them, had ruined her. She'd allowed it, because she couldn't imagine, couldn't fathom, that those who had killed her parents had simply been able to walk away.

She could say now that she hadn't thought very clearly, her mind had been so filled with grief from losing her parents, of having been the one to have found them, that all she wanted, what she had spent all of her energy on, was making sure that her parents' killers had been caught and brought to justice. She'd lost focus on her life; her friends, Jackson.

Jackson.

For the first time in six years, she allowed herself to think of his name. She had lost the love of her life. She'd let him walk away and for the longest time she'd been so bitter and spiteful that he had. He loved her didn't he? Wasn't he supposed to stay with her through the ugly parts?

She sighed inwardly, knowing that she was as much to fault about it as he was and yet she was still angry, still bitter. She assumed that would probably be the case for the rest of her life. Her heart was too damaged to feel anything but. The girl who knew of happiness, of love, who had hopes and dreams for the future, all died the same day her parents did.

Some days she wished she could just enjoy the way the wind tickled the leaves of the trees that dotted the backyard, or the warm scent of lilacs that her mother had planted the day she'd found out she was pregnant, or even the sounds of night that she'd so accustomed to hearing, that often lulled her to sleep. It wasn't that she'd taken advantage of what was, just that it hurt too much to enjoy life and it was, she felt, her penance. For what? She wasn't entirely sure there was a right answer, a thorough answer.

Sam raised his head, looking through heavy lids and yawned. “Oh, you've been asleep for ten minutes.”

He just tilted his head and looked at her as if to say, so?

She leaned down and patted his head as she headed towards the house. Grabbing her large bag off the hook, she figured it was time to head into town. Sighing, Naomi grabbed her keys and stuffed the bills and the packages she needed to mail, from her photography business, into the bag. She also grabbed the grocery list off of the fridge and headed outside.

It was a beautiful day, Naomi realized as she walked to her car. It was so often a shame she had shoved her life into this prison she had made for herself. It was also annoying that she knew what she was doing to herself and yet, she continued on with it.

Bethany Hills was...well, it was. It was hard to look at it through the romantic eyes she had in her youth. How perfect it was with its Northeastern 19th century buildings, all brick and mortar, most of the buildings all built on each other, old factories turned into apartments and one was even turned into the elementary school. It was history and she'd had enough of that to last her, she mused as her car came over the crescent and descended into town.

It was charming and it was quaint, but personally it was as much a prison to her as everything else. She had to stay here, it was almost as if it was her duty, even if everyone thought of her as though a few marbles had gotten loose.

Everyone knew her car. It was her parents' car. She hadn't been able to sell it, not because it had been her parents', but because she couldn't have afforded a new car. Even now, she couldn't. All monies she brought in through her business, went into the house, the taxes, the upkeep, her groceries and into her business. The car worked, so what if it was a decade old, so what if she had to repair the car more often than not sometimes? It was hers and it wasn't as if she wanted to torment herself that way. She wasn't rich and neither had been her parents.

Already people stared as she drove by and she ignored them. She drove by the lovely homes that were in town, one of which she noticed had sold, which she had noticed last had been for sale..and for quite awhile too. It was a gorgeous house, she noted. She remembered it as a child, thinking it was a house only for a princess. It was a white brick house, with three stories and the roof of the front porch stood as the balcony for the second floor.

She drove past it and stopped at the grocery first, where she got everything on her list, plus a few extras, which, she noticed, were all for Sam. She couldn't help it if she spoiled her dog, but it made her smile nonetheless.

Stopping at the bank, she made her deposits and she left. Finally, it was the post office. She mailed off everything she needed to and on her way out a newspaper clipping caught her eye. She froze.

“Bethany Hills' Own, Jackson Davis, is Opening His Famous Restaurant in Town”

Jackson.

So, he'd come back home. He was here...somewhere. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe. She was half afraid she'd have a panic attack right there in the doorway to the post office. Just what she'd need. The town crazy caught flipping her shit right in town. Probably what the article title would be too.

Forcing herself to breathe, Naomi opened the door and hurried to her car. She had never expected him to come back. Why should he? She was here. The past was here. Everything that had caused him to leave, by himself, was here.

Maybe this was a sign. A sign that maybe was meant for her to move on. To go forward, but dear God, could she? She almost snorted. Naomi gripped the wheel, her knuckles turning white. There was no moving forward until the killers were caught. Until then, maybe she could learn to live.