The Life Of Me.

7th July 2005

Well, I went to the doctors today, I have "bronchitus"...which is probably a fancy name for having a cold + sore throat and cough lol. Oh well. No medicine either Gonna have to wait it out. Just want to feel better really, going on holiday soon! Spain That'll be a good week, I'll miss Martin faaaaaaar too much, but it'll be good for us We probably spend too much time together lol. I'm sometimes afraid we'll burn out...Like...we love eachother so much now, we're very set on this working, and hopefully lasting. What happens if...I dunno, we give it all now, and run out? I honestly don't know if I could love him more...but I suppose I've still got a lot to learn about him, maybe that's what relationships that last do for a couple. You just learn more about the other person, while loving them as much as you possible can and trying to make them happy. I hope I can make him happy. I don't ever want to hurt him.

He told me this random ex from friggin' Swindon is coming up and "wants to meet me". Yeah...I'm sure she does. Why on earth do people want to meet their exes present girlfriends????? I just don't understand! Maybe she was just being polite. She's the girl that whenever she comes up, they ended up getting together again. Grr. She's a lesbian now....lol, but still...he might convert her back lol. Why am I worried :-S I get so schitzy about his exes, like they're all superwomen goddesses who are far better than me and could all have him back at the click of a finger. Hmm. Oh well. I miss him. Saw him today aswell. Wasn't long enough. Didn't even get a nice long kiss...probably 'cause I'm ill though lol.

The bombings in London are atrocious. Really, really atrocious. Luckily, my godmother wasn't working in London today, yet unfortunately for my uncle, who's an ambulanceman, he'll have had a very busy day. You know, I even text fucking Gemma to see if her family (most of which live down in London) are okay, and does she have the fucking courtesy to text back? Fucking no. Stupid cow. I've only tried and tried, and it's all for nothing, she doesn't give a shit at all. I mean nothing...which sucks. Fucking bitch Kirsty means more. Grrrrr. I want stupid Gemma to wake up and see that I'm a good person, a good friend and that's she's stupid to have not wanted me as her friend. The only reason I'm so harsh about it all, is because I miss her, and I really did like her. And she's hurt me again. I fucking stopped her from potentially getting pregnant when she wasn't even speaking to me. I've done everything I possibly can. And nothing...I don't know what to do. I can't escape her. Martin talks about her all the time...Andi and Gemma...when I was out with Gemma and Andi...once with Andi and Gemma...Andi was talking about Gemma...Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.