The Life Of Me.

17th June 2005 - Hmmm

Bored. Can't be arsed with school. And I can't see Martin. 'Cause fucking Andi had to complain and want to swap shifts. AGAIN. Grrrrrrrr. So...he has to work half 3pm-12am today and tomorrow. He says he'll call in sick tomorrow...but I can't, or shouldn't, let him do that. He says he'll be doing college work aswell, so I guess that's okay, but I can't let him skip work for me...it just selfish of me to even think he should. Though I would love to see him...

Saw him yesterday for about twenty minutes. And it made me so happy Just being with him for a short time makes me smile so incredibly wide for so long. Which is nice

He loves me. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me. It's so amazing to be able to say that, and know it's the truth. No lies, no mind games, no cheating, no betrayal, no forgetting. He loves me. And he's got an absolute heart of gold *sigh*. He's nicer to me than I feel I am to him, but I don't know how to make him happier...I just am myself, and try to look out for him, care for him and think about him. Man...he's amazing. I don't deserve him at all. He deserves to be with someone more beautiful, better in bed and more selfless. I spose I can't change who I am though, I can just try my best to make him happy. *sigh. I really need to forget the forever stuff. I shouldn't worry about it. He reassures me all the time

What's amazing is, I trust him. I can trust what he says. I can trust what he does. I can trust how he feels. That's something new for me.

I've got a fucking lesson soon. How shit's that. I don't wanna go. I'd prefer to just sit here and write how I feel, over and over and over, even if it doesn't really change. Sometimes, which is odd for me, I can't even find the words for how I feel. Just overwhelmed constantly. He is the single thought that remains in my head, he is always conscious in my mind. *sigh* I miss him. Loads.